So there I was, in my Staterooms, disconsolate, bemused and silent. I had just seen the vote on the 42 days. Various politicians did their best to console those who like civil liberties by telling us that it would fail in the Lords. Even Shami Chakrabati did her best.
It was not enough. I had to fly in a helicopter over West London, implausibly, on this most implausible of days and report – and sing a version of the Teddy Bear’s Picnic.
I’m afraid you will have to click on the podcast if you want to hear my report from the helicopter and… of course, to hear me sing. It is not pretty. Today has not been pretty.
Charon After Dark: Charon sings “The Teddy Brown’s Picnic.
Lyrics … if you want to sing along…
If you go down to the commons today
You’re sure of a big surprise
If you go down to the commons today
You’d better go in disguise.
For every Brownite that ever there was
Will gather there for certain, because
Today’s the day they have their picnic.
Every DUP bear who’s been good
Is sure of a treat today.
There’s lots of marvellous things to eat
And wonderful games to play.
Beneath the trees where nobody sees
They’ll hide and seek as long as they please
‘Cause that’s the way the Brownite bears have their picnic.
***
I am applying to go on “Britain’s Got Talent” … as a singing pissartiste. I may even buy a dog and teach it to drink and walk in a straight line afterwards.
That was really beautiful.
Lo-fi… you do make me laugh!
I have emailed you – I just could not resist. A dark day…. made glorious light by the prospect that the unlected Lords, incorruptible Lords (Oh… the irony!)…. will chuck it back to the Commons with so many amendments the legislation will be doomed. That is my hope
I agree with Lo-fi – quite lovely.
Enjoyed your singing very much Charon , thank you!
What a delightful picnic… just a pity you brought the wrong bears along… I don’t like Brown Bears!!
I will vote for you, if you make it to the finals of Britain’s Got Talent… I’m willing to bet more people vote there than they do at the polls!!
I think you do yourself a disservice by merely aspiring to competition on ” Britain’s Got Talent” – you should be aiming for the X Factor, if not Pop Idol!!!! ( on facebook you are, after all a ‘Rock Star Vampire’!!)
I shall lend you my dog, Actress, for the drinking and walking in a straight line party piece.( She can drink with the best but you may have to cheat and put her on casters for the straight line bit)
One must do what one can
I don’t think I’ll be doing any more singing…..
….today’s the day the treasonous start their pick n’ nick
Scunnered… Yes…. indeed. Curious times we live in.
tsk tsk – if you think silly songs about bears will defeat this move to crush civil liberties in this country you are wrong. there is but on way to defeat the tyranny and that is … mass resignations by tories.
well, it’s a start. i’m amazed any of them have time to resign what with embezzling money via their nannies children etc. still it’s good to know the tories suddenly give a shit about honesty, democracy and freedom.
hahahahahahahahahahaha!
SW – you are absolutely right. Silly, mildly inebriated, songs about bears will not defeat anything – but it was a diversion for me in an otherwise rather depressing political day.
Davies’ resignation is most interesting – I’m looking forward to it. While I thought Dianae Abbott’s speech was excellent – it is unlikely that the 36 rebel labour MPs will resign en masse.
Can you imagine – 36 by-elections at once – a very quick route to minority government.
Politics is throwing up some fascinating stories – I’ve just enjoyed watching This Week – Portillo does his best to make it serious – but it is a good bit of light analysis. Rawnsley’s piece was entertaining.
I’m off to bed… finally.
42 Days Detention; The Master and The Margarita: A Satire
Somebody must have made a false accusation against Muslims in Britain,
For they were all arrested one morning and detained indefinitely,
Without ever having done anything wrong
While others had Tea and played Cricket,
This sorry state of affairs continued unabated
There they waited….in their huddled masses,
Looking strangely foreign, with their bearded faces, and their Head and
Faced-covered alien women, together with their non-assimilated progeny
Waiting…. inevitably for the cargo trains to arrive,
To take them far away, further away….far towards the [middle] east
Meanwhile….(overheard) in the upper class Buffet carriage,
The so-called glorious leadership strategised
“Finally, we are agreed then”,
“Double speak, and then consequently”,
“THE Solution”,
“Zyklon B Crystals?”
“But Dahling, its soo pre-post modern!”
“Supercharged high density depleted uranium crystals are the new black.”
© a. Mohammed
Soas LLB (hons)