Postcard from Londonium – Circus Maximus edition

Dear Reader,

The men and women in togas skulked in the shadows; James Purnell, keeping his own counsel, Hazel Blears wearing her ‘rocking the boat’ badge, Caroline Flint praising one moment and then damning when she didn’t get the job she wanted; quite possibly a job vacated by one of several Cabinet Ministers who fell on (or were pushed onto)  their Gladius during one of the most amusing weeks I have seen in politics for years.

Unfortunately, Foreign Secretary Miliband (not, it would appear, the bravest of souls) decided not to follow his mate James Purnell into battle.  Darling is now sitting pretty in an unsackable position and the Richard III of the Labour government, Jack ”The Lad Chancellor’ Straw, sits, as ever , smiling inscrutably… waiting… always waiting;  presiding over a Ministry of Justice which appears to be hell bent on delivering legal services and justice  to the public at the lowest possible cost with his legal aid reforms, virtual courts and complete indifference to the legal profession as a whole in terms of its preparedness to do work at the pitiful rates being offered.

All three parties have provided us with wonderful entertainment over the past three to four weeks -  so much so that it has been like the Circus Maximus sitting here East of Londinium.  Brown sits in splendid isolation in his bunker at Number 10 waiting, now, for the next round of bad news – the results of the Euro elections. The hyperventilating autocuties at the BBC, the self important ‘newscasters’, the pundits, the ravening  horde from the press and the political bloggers are taking a breather until the next battle to topple the prime minister begins again on Sunday night and in the Monday press.

I too, shall take a break from politics.  I shall, as always, be at my post… scanning the horizon for U-boats to ensure that our shores are safe.  I’m getting on with the job. So far I have a 100 % hit rate.  Not a U-boat in sight. WIN!!!

England expected and England f****d it up big time yesterday by managing to lose their game in the Twenty Twenty series to Netherlands. Being, British, I offer my congratulations to the Netherlands – they played the game of rounders well -  and pour deserved scorn on the boys who lost yesterday.  With The Ashes just around the corner I am beginning to wonder if I should invest in the Sky Sports package for a month or so. (I shall, of course, do so)

Here is the BBC match report – it makes grim reading.

There have been quite a few comings and goings in the last week but none quite so spectacular as the departure of David Carradine who, Thai Police say, died in his hotel room with a noose around his neck and penis.  His agent maintains that he was murdered – but, according to The Sun, Thai police say that no-one entered or left the room, a statement based on examination of CCTV footage.

Auto-erotic asphyxiation, appears to be a fairly common pastime with some men, and I recall the tragic case of Stephen Milligan, a conservative politician who was found dead in 1994 with a noose around his neck and an orange segment in his mouth.  There was some talk, at the time, that INXS musician Michael Hutchence may have died as a result of auto-erotic asphyxiation. As ever, I take a fairly broad liberal view on private entertainments -  but, as these cases demonstrate, it is probably best to have a partner around when indulging in the more extreme pleasures in life.

I enjoy watching The Apprentice. I am also a fan of Sir Alan Sugar so I was sorry to learn in The Sun this morning (one has to read the tabloids to keep a finger on the pulse of modern Britain) that Margaret Mountford, one of Sir Alan’s so-called ’sidekicks’, is leaving the show.

Margaret Mountford is always amusing to watch;  the subtle expression, the raising of the eyebrows, the amused disdain.   A former partner of City law firm Herbert Smith, she has been a non-executive director of Amstrad for years.  She is leaving the show to concentrate her attention on her Ph.d research on Egyptian manuscripts. I shall miss her shrewd and wry observations.

Well… that is all for the moment – but these being momentous times.. I shall be back with more posts later today and, certainly, tomorrow.  Now for some scrambled eggs, smoked salmon and a mug of tea.

Best as always

Charon