Following on from my ‘Fuckerflies’ series, as Christmas approaches and no-one can be bothered to answer their phones or are ‘ in a meeting’ (and it can only get worse as the Christmas party season gets under way), I am occupying part of my time each day by painting. Charonaletto has many spray cans and enough paint and canvas to flood the art market with tat. There is only one flaw to this ‘plan’. I give the paintings away… but I do offer the recipients an option where I throw the painting away for them and save them the trouble.
Here is my latest series: ‘Erudite Elephant 1′
The Elephant is at the start of a Nietzschean journey, which may turn out better than he thinks. He first meets the Monkey – an avid reader of The Sun. The Monkey asks the Elephant what his thougt for the day is. The Elephant has two: “The cautious seldom err’ and “It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop’. (Confucius). The Elephant, being a pedant and a grammar nazi, corrects the Monkey’s English… and so the journey begins.
A larger version of the picture is here
Sir,
It does not take a trick cyclist to understand the clear darkened sexual innuendo blatantly displayed within this African ‘art’ you have created for all to see.
I for one would like to make clear the fact that what went on during our summer tour of the continents back in 1976 should stay on tour, and not be cast up repeatedly like a cheap Turkish takeout.
For the love of god man, it was one drunken afternoon with a local waitress, and for the last time… that damn grass skirt was about my waist merely to keep the flies from attacking my todger.
cheerio,
JB.
Sir James
I think you have my Swiss Bank account details… failing that… a brown envelope… look out for a man in a coat who looks like a Peer…. hanging about near WH Smug at Victoria Station. He will have a red robe on. No white beard… so don’t get the wrong guy… if you please.
Elephant II is in ‘preparation’ !
regards, as always
Charon
PS.. Are we having our usual Christmas Binge drinking session at Claridges this year? Followed by a visit to a discreet establishment where one may peruse some Turkish delights?
Sir,
Surely if our contact resembles a peer he will be wearing ladies knick knacks, and perhaps carrying a bag of satsumas?
I digress…
Claridges will be tip top, and as usual I will leave my flexible friend at your disposal to arrange the after dinner entertainment.
I thought this year maybe Swedish?
I’ll catch up with you on Friday at the club, 11ish at the bar, my car at the dock to collect you at 10:30.
Please do not tip the driver this time, he gets very easily offended ever since the whole beastly Idi Amin thing.
Must dash, legs to break, fingers to sever…. yadda yadda yadda.
cheerio,
JB
I shall remember to tell my ‘contact’… how did you know he liked Satsumas?
Be that as it may?
See you then
Best
C
I don’t think Wu Cheng’en would approve but I could overlook such minor details if you tell me that the elephant is in fact painted in politicians’ blood.
(Okay, okay, I’m not suggesting you slaughtered one, just that maybe you accidentally chopped some buttock off or extracted too much blood during a routine Flu jab).
Ah… Crocstar… good evening… I can only say this.. through the great master…. I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.
We shall speak soon… of many things…
I love the art and would be proud to hang this on my walls next to my collection of African masks. Do tell me when I can pick it up! It is destined to become an heirloom!
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