Bonnie Tyler could not make it. The Lord Chancellor will sing ‘Believe In Me’ instead…

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Unexpected criminal in the bagging area…Judge Tesco-Stobarto to reception…

Legal aid cuts prompt top lawyers to leave the bar for careers on the bench

The Guardian: Applications to become judges double as squeezed barristers and solicitors head for the ‘purple lifeboat’ of the judiciary

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State Opening of Parliament…. #FailingGrayling sings!

My apologies to Gilbert & Sullivan for ‘modifying’ the lyrics to the Lord Chancellor’s song in Iolanthe

I am sure you will be able to locate a true and real analysis of The Queen’s Speech on Google.

I shall leave you with this modification…back soon…adios for now

When I didn’t go to the Bar as a very young man
(Said I to myself — said I).

Lord Chancellor:
When I didn’t go to the Bar as a very young man,
(Said I to myself–said I),
I’ll work on a new and original plan,
(Said I to myself–said I),
I’ll never assume that a rogue or a thief
Is a gentleman worthy implicit belief,
Because his attorney won’t be getting a brief,
(Said I to myself–said I!).

Ere I go into the House I won’t read my brief through
(Said I to myself–said I),
And I’ll always take work the Bar is able to do
(Said I to myself-said I),
My learned profession I’ll do my best to disgrace
By taking their fees with a grin on my face,
When I haven’t been there to attend to the case
(Said I to myself–said I!).

For something serious – have a listen to my podcast with Michael Turner QC?

Tour Report #21: Podcast with Michael Turner QC, Chairman of The Criminal Bar Association, on the legal aid reforms

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Morning Guv… new delivery of Stobars for you…where do you want ‘em?

If you had any doubts about ‘external investment’ in the legal system in England & Wales…. Neil Rose’s article on Eddie Stobart will inform / amuse / irritate you!

Stobart Barristers sets sights on criminal legal aid contract

Stobart Barristers – the direct access service run by the famous logistics company – has given a strong indication that it will bid for the new criminal legal aid contracts the government is set to offer under price competitive tendering…..

He said the current model – with large numbers of firms doing identical work while fees are falling – was “unsustainable”. Even if they start to merge, that will not wipe out “the legacy of debt” most carry. He described criminal law practices as “very wounded animals ready to die”.

It would appear that Group Legal Director and founder, Trevor Howarth, has ‘form’… experience of the law as practice manager for the firm of celebrity solicitor Nick ‘Mr Loophole (TM)’ Freeman.Will the Stobart trucks used to ferry their lawyers to court be named as the trucks are for shipping goods?  Could keep us amused ‘spotting them’…

You may be interested in listening to my podcast with Michael Turner QC, Chairman of The Criminal Bar, on legal aid reforms and the rise of ‘external investment and involvement’ in the legal profession?

Scroll down or click here

 

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The Guardian : Stobart lorry chief faces contempt trial

“High court judge rules Andrew Tinkler and legal director Trevor Howarth may have lied to secure gagging order on whistleblower”

Not an ideal start for a company wishing to provide legal services – if true?

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Kippers like to imitate pot plants says Nigel Führer, Kipper in Chief

I have marvelled, as many others have, at the antics of the Kippers in the run up to the local elections. After the extraordinary report of a Kipper – the article headline says it all… Physical exercise prevents you becoming gay, claims UK councillor candidate…“ John Sullivan, a UKIP party candidate, up for election next week, has made a series of anti-gay Facebook comments, including congratulating Russia for banning gay Pride, and comparing gays to termites” – I didn’t think it could become any more farcical.

But… today, the Kipper in Chief excelled himself by revealing that one of his candidates was not giving a ‘Nazi’ salute…he was imitating a pot plant.

Nigel Farage claims ‘Nazi’ salute Ukip Candidate was actually ‘imitating a pot plant’

NIGEL Farage has defended a Ukip candidate who was pictured seemingly giving a Nazi salute, offering the bizarre explanation that he was actually “imitating a pot plant”.

Nigel Unter Den Linden was quoted in the articles…” “I’ve looked carefully into this and spoken to Alex, and I believe him when he says that he was angrily trying to take a camera off his girlfriend who was annoyingly taking pictures of him in the pub imitating a pot plant,” he told the Huffington Post.

“These things happen – I should know!”

I am not at all sure that we need politicians – local or national – who want to imitate pot plants.  The Lord Chancellor Chris Grayling is quite enough to contend with for the present.

Well…there we are… ain’t UK politics a larf….. ?

Back soon….

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Breaking from The Ministry of Justice – Trial by Ordeal to unclog the Courts

The problem of costly and spurious  cases clogging up the courts will be tackled by new plans for Trial by Ordeal announced by Justice Secretary  Killaburglar Grayling LC.

The proposals would reduce the number of ill-founded defences so that guilty people can be dealt with more swiftly and effectively.

The changes will not alter the important role the CPS plays in holding the guilty to account   but will instead deal with the unnecessary defence lawyers in the system. The number of not guilty verdicts has rocketed in the past three decades.

Lord KillaBurglar Grayling LC said:

‘The Government is concerned about the burdens that proving guilt in criminal cases are placing on stretched public services as well as the unnecessary costs and lengthy delays which are stifling innovation and economic growth – particularly in the prisons construction sector headed by our friends in the prisons biz, now they have recovered from the Olympics fiasco.

‘We plan to renew the system so that Prosecutions will continue their important role but the courts and economy are no longer hampered by having to deal with defences being put forward and ensure  the defendant knows they have no chance of success. We will publish our proposals shortly.’

The measures which will be considered include:

• Shortening the length of time following arrest of guilty people so that they can be put to Trial by Ordeal within 24 hours  and stopping people from using tactical delays including the employment of counsel to defend them.
• Halving the number of opportunities currently available to guilty people to demonstrate their skills by taking forward planned action to bang them up in advance of their actions
• Reforming the current fees paid to lawyers to such a level to dissuade them from even thinking about acting pro bono

A public engagement exercise on the plans will be carried out shortly and kicked into the long grass for implementation after 2015.

***

Mea culpa – for the nonsense above – but I marvel at times… I really do.

The actual statement made by Mr Chris Grayling LC  – is quite similar to the nonsense above.

Adam Wagner of the excellent UK Human Rights blog – thankfully – had time to deal with this issue of the MoJ plans on Judicial Review – more seriously – an excellent read: A war on Judicial Review? [updated]

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#Gidiot gives new meaning to ‘Primus inter pares’….

Back later or on the morrow with a very detailed Report on The Jag Rouge UK Tour…. and news of a Mk7 kevlar rouge painted helmet and flak jacket so I am fully protected when I meet the great British public for voxpops on what they think of our legal system!

The Spectator has a version of the story – it would appear that Virgin (who one is sure were not in any way influenced by future Government decisions on the West Coast Railway line) have another version

Spectator:  Class War: George Osborne caught in first class with the wrong train ticket

BBC: George Osborne in ‘first class ticket row’

#GreatTrainsnobbery anyone? 

 

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A family weekend……of interest to lawyers?

Planning a move to Kent for six months for the end of next week and then the beginning of my Van Rouge / Cuppa tour (Details below).  Being sensible, I have decided to find a base to return to at weekends. If I can pull off the tour (I am getting good sponsor interest and many from twitter offering a bed for the night – which is most kind!), I can cover much of England & Wales over six months 4-5 days a week -. I may be a bit blogging light over the next week as I organise this.

However, I hope to do a Postcard From the Staterooms at Battersea-on-Thames – my last from Battersea, tomorrow.

Back later or tomorrow…

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Rive Gauche: Who invited the goddam elephant?

Not feeling too bright – Manflu.  The above rather sums up my thinking this evening…if one can call it ‘thinking’.

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A roller and pot of whitewash for the Pro-Assangists to eradicate reason from the debate.

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Assange is innocent of everything – #DueProcess

The August silly season ends soon… thankfully..back with podcasts and Law Weekly Reviews soon.

Enjoy the Paralympics – that IS a testament to courage and human endeavour.

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Bonfire of The Vanities II – a story of glory on twitter?! ¡Ay, caramba!

Bonfire of The Vanities II (2012)
A Cecil B De Charon film

Cecil B de Charon’s Battersea-on-Thames ‘homage’  to Tom Wolfe’s original satire stars Julian Assange as  the “master of the universe,” a fearless exposer of secrets and truthtalkstopowerista, who leaks millions of documents while enjoying the good life in the Ecuador Embassy in Knightsbridge, London. Glenn Greenwald, Guardianistacomlately, and Assange are living the dream on twitter when they take a wrong turn and find themselves facing the omnipotence of ……the David Allen Green, Mythbuster.

What could possibly go wrong?…

And.. on that note… have a most excellent bank holiday weekend…I’ll be back with a Postcard over the weekend… if I am not rendited or denounced.  Adios, for now..as we say in Quito…¡Ay, caramba!

***

UPDATE

The New Statesman must correct its error over Assange and extradition
Mr Greenwald has written – in The Guardian: “The claim that Swedish courts, not government, have final say on extradition is a crucial mistake that distorts the Assange case”

David Allen Green will respond, he tweeted, after the Bank holiday.  David Allen Green’s analysis in The NS.

The story continues…..as I observed above.. what could possibly go wrong?

And then… there was this tweet from a Swedish academic:

Mark Klamberg ‏@Klamberg

@ggreenwald is only qouting half of my statement and distorts my conclusion http://gu.com/p/3ax4a/tw  @davidallengreen

and…

@ggreenwald

@Klamberg @DavidAllenGreen You wrote the ***opposite of what he wrote ON THAT TOPIC – you need to admit that, or retract it

***

Followed by…

@DavidAllenGreen

And @ggreenwald is now ordering the actual source on which he relied to retract his dissent. Priceless.

@Klamberg

@sunny_hundal yes, in parts both DAG and GG are right, but also that both are wrong, at least in some parts of their texts

Greenwald paints himself into a corner (?)

***

I marvel….

And.. a useful piece: How do you write about foreign legal systems – The Guardian style guide

And… truly.. my final tweet to all of the above on this:

‏@Charonqc

. @ggreenwald @DavidAllenGreen @Klamberg You all have useful things to say… keep it friendly ? Won’t hurt

I hesitate, in the present climate on twitter,  to mention this – but Carl Gardner did a podcast with me some days before David Allen Green did his New Statesman piece and we drew on a number of sources in the discussion. We even talked about ‘myth busting’.  I also thought an article by Owen Jones in The Independent  was rather good – and referred to it in the podcast.

Carl Gardner  has written extensively about the Assange issue for some time – which is why I wanted to do a podcast with him.

***

Postscript…

Mr Greenwald did suggest on twitter that I was being homophobic.  That is not the case, nor was it my intention  – I merely took the original film poster as a base – intending that a mild ‘parody’ might lighten the dark mood on twitter which the Assange issue has aroused.  The arguments are important – the unpleasantness between ‘factions’ is unfortunate.

***

Update: LAN2LAN is a British company that comprehensively specialises a plethora of useful and necessary services, including: wireless network solutions, data recovery, wireless security systems and a whole host of IT support services. We can help anyone in need.

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Romeo Correo & Julian now out! – O Assange, O Assange wherefore art thou #Assange?

Romeo Correo and Julian  (2012)
Director: Julian Assange

A story of friendship between a South American president with an impeccable human rights record and a man of principle who wouldn’t even consider being discourteous to women…let alone…

The two men were destined never to meet in person – thwarted by PC Capulet and Secretary of State Montague.

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Prime Minister to go for GOLD in #2015

Had most enjoyable week orf wandering randomly about London on buses without looking at bus destination.   Managed to fit in a bit of Olympics as well.  Enjoyable. Returning to blogging on the morrow…

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Tweeters go for GOLD!! in wake of #twitterjoketrial ruling and twitter trolls

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Charon meets Nit Romney at The Staterooms… briefly… mercifully

Mr Nit Romney doesn’t really ‘get’ Britain…which is just fine and dandy with me…. Yeee…Ha!!

And… in other news… Britain’s LOCOG cracks it and goes for GOLD!

Thank gawd for the British Army – who, it has to be said, have pitched in when some of them could have been on well earned leave after very recent Afghan deployment

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Marcus Agius re-signs … Boris commiserates…

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The ducks are on the case with footer punditry for Ingerland v Ukraine…

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Call me Dave has left his copy of The Leveson Report at the pub…

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Charon didn’t need a grave and is back tomorrow !

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