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Archive for August 18th, 2006

On a wet Friday… ephemera

It is Friday… and no-one seems to be around. So it is time for some ephemera and, just perhaps, a bit of law – indirectly.

To the left is a famous advert. I have a copy of this and another, depicting a doctor being woken up at 4.30 in the morning by a patient captioned “More Doctors smoke Camel than any other brand”, framed in my bathroom. Soon, of course, the social lepers that we are will be forced to pursue our evil habit in the open air (but not in bus shelters), leaving sensible non-smokers, roundheads, busybodies and members of ASH delighting in the clean air and lack of noise inside. I shall simply start taking snuff – which I do from time to time – if the weather is too appalling to nip outside for a fag. Mind you, I did read, earlier in the week that Mayor Bloomburg of New York is giving away $125 million dollars to help stamp smoking out all over the world. I am sure that this news will have had the worthies over at ASH hyperventilating with excitement as they sip their camomile tea.

A woman who returned to her car after her pay and display ticket had expired had her ticket cancelled by Brighton Council. She received a letter to this effect which ended with the request: “Please make sure your daughter only vomits within pay and display time.” Laurie Ward, 30, was not amused and moaned that she did not expect to be treated like that by a public body. Brighton Council apologised.

I am going to institute “Lobster” awards: Regular readers of Consilio will be aware that I have a plastic lobster which does strange things and goes to extraordinary places. Consilio asks readers to find the pic of my lobster – and when they do, they get a prize – a simple marketing ploy where everyone wins. Here is my lobster sitting on the chair (I am sitting on it now) which is reputed to have come from HMS Bellerophon which fought at Trafalgar (I always believe dodgy antique dealers). I will be awarding “Lobsters” for ‘outstanding conduct which enriches the human spirit’. Brighton Council gets the first award for their response to Laurie Ward (supra).

Mel Gibson is getting quite a lot of flak for his recent anti-semitic outbursts while drunk.

Here is an amusing pastiche done by roningraffiti. Worth a look if you haven’t seen it. A short film.

And something for Family lawyers…

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, “I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.”

The woman replies, “I’ll miss you…”

And so I leave you, on this Friday afternoon, with the thought: If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either. (Dick Cavett)

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I do enjoy visiting RollonFriday

… and yet again their journos have found a gem. Read the advert below which I have screen grabbed from LawCareers.net

Apart from a dodgy typo (and I am prone to those myself) the advert is fascinating. Here we have an entrepreneurial solicitor Tony Seymour @ hotmail (Liked the classy email address) seeking an ‘uber-secretary’, no doubt at secretarial salary (not made known) who has to possess a good (2.1) LLB, have completed the LPC, hold an LLM in advanced civil litigation and have 12 months paralegal experience. The advert, curiously, does not specify any particular level of typing skill or PA experience – was that an oversight?

Of course, there will be few legal secretaries with such a profile, and the ‘lure’ of the ‘possibility’ of a training contract gives the game away. Seymours clearly want to get a high quality trainee lawyer at a more modest cost. Why not? Probably better than luring bright young graduates into paralegal work – hinting at ‘development to a training contract at some unspecified time in the future’ – where they are consigned to the bowels of a grand building in the City to do fairly routine work, photocopying and sundry other tasks which do not require the skills of a highly qualified young trainee lawyer.

Mr Seymour clearly does not wish to be troubled initially with having to wade through pleading covering letters, carefully constructed CVs – for he requires ‘concise details (1 page only) – or perhaps that is because his Hotmail account can’t take attachments !

I may well apply for the job. I may not have the precise qualifications he seeks, nor, indeed, high level typing skills – but I feel sure that I would be able to bring vitality, enthusiasm and vigour to the post – especially if the firm provides Rioja, espressos and Silk Cut as ‘staff benefits’.

I am sure that Tony Seymour’s Hotmail in-box will soon be bulging – especially if RollonFriday discussion board members decide they all wish to apply.

I am sure that Anonymous Lawyer would approve of this advert and recruitment policy!

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…. so I decided that I would spend today cradling a dead pig in the middle of an art gallery. Well… that is not entirely true. In fact, while I have a taste for the surreal, I will not be doing this… but there is someone who will be.

The Mirror reports (or should that be ‘reveals’?) that “a naked artist will caress a slaughtered pig for four hours..at gallery funded by lottery cash, of course.”

“Kira O’Reilly, who may even cut into the corpse with a knife, says bafflingly the exhibition is about “pigginess, unexpected fantasies of emergence and interspecies metamorphose”

You may be inspired to read the full story – but, yet again, I found myself just having poached eggs for breakfast. Two weeks ago it was Gordon Ramsay slaughtering his favourite pigs for the edification of the British public on Channel 4, now a naked artist wants to cradle a dead pig, dig her hand into its belly and perhaps even cut it with a scalpel – while viewers go into a room for 10 minutes a time to gape.

As the Mirror reports…“Protesters said yesterday: “This isn’t entertainment – it’s sick. She needs help.”

On that note… I am surfing over the Independent which may have other delights for me to reflect upon. Barking!

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