Archive for October 17th, 2006

I was spending far too much chargeable time re-writing the blogs done by our trainees, before posting them on our Hi-tech website, so I decided that I would turn my hand to a bit of blogging myself. I called in my PA, Eva Brown, and asked her to take dictation.

Today I announced over the new tannoy system which I have had installed throughout the firm – I was most impressed when I watched a TV programme about a cruise liner to discover that the Captain addressed the entire ship’s company and clients at one go over the tannoy – that four of the six trainees would be sent to The Far East for four months on a compulsory overseas seat. The other two, we are sending to our Eastbourne office to attend to the needs of some of our more mature clients. I was pleased to send round this photograph taken of one of last year’s trainees to give some idea of how we integrate efficiency and sport in our work ethic. We are a ‘green’ law firm and I believe we are the only City firm to use rickshaws in our Far East postings. I remember him well. He was pretty good. Managed to take me and a very special client around Central Singapore without any difficulty at all.

I am sure that the experience of an overseas posting will be of great benefit to the trainees.

Matt Muttley, Managing Partner

Editorial Note: I have added a new category ‘Muttley Dastardly LLP’ as I feel certain that MD will continue to feature in one way or another as the year unfolds.

Matt Muttley is seeing the Director of a Vocational Law School next week to discuss the possibility of his law school tailoring an LPC to the firm’s needs. Apparently he was quite impressed by the Course Director’s naked ambition, understanding of modern profitability theory and hunger.

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I tried… but an unremitting diet of commenting seriously on matters legal has tipped the balance of my mind. Here is a novel search engine. You may ask an attractive woman to find things for you on the net. Of course, I became bored with asking her to find The Law Society or a particular set of Chambers and started to ask her most unusual questions. (Ms Dewey, in reponse to my question about The Law Society told me…most usefully… “Don’t do the crime unless you can do the time” before providing me with the link) The results amused me for a while – you may also find this search engine interesting – and if you have no-one else to talk to at the time – you might enjoy Ms Dewey talking to you. Try the search engine

Of course.. I just had to ask her who she thought Charon QC is. She laughed and told me that she couldn’t understand a word I was saying and then started talking gibberish herself. I liked that. Poetic justice. I put it down to her remarkable skills of feminine intuition. She did, however, find my blawg. Not exactly Google…but curiously enjoyable. No… she doesn’t want to come out to dinner or drink Rioja with me. Remarkably, when I asked if she would like a glass of Rioja – she produced a German bier stein which, miraculously, filled with beer and laughed (The bier stein did not, of course, laugh – she did). I could find myself using this search engine in future….

Do you want to buy a painting painted by an elephant? A lot cheaper than an original work by Damien Hirst.

Well.. you can by visiting this website.

And finally… for those with an unquenchable thirst for knowledge and shoehorning bizarre topics into conversations… here is a website which will give you the origin of rock band names. Quite interesting, as it happens.

And now I can begin my real day… toil and work. A piu tarde.

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You really could not make it up…

Blunkett ‘machine-gun prisoners’ claim

I got up at 2.00 this morning to do some work, and as I ran amok through the online newspapers looking for legal news to comment on, I came across an extraordinary story in today’s Guardian – so extraordinary that I have to provide the link to be sure I am not seeing things. Guardian Story

Briefly: There was a riot at Lincoln jail. The Prison Service lost control temporarily. I quote from The Guardian… “A hysterical David Blunkett told the prison service to call in the army and “machine gun” inmates in order to regain control of a riot-torn prison, the former director general of the prison service, Martin Narey, claims today”

Predictably, according to the article, Blunkett’s recollection of events differs from that of Mr Narey.

Narey informed Blunkett of the situation at Lincoln Jail. Blunket became ‘hysterical’ – mindful of the humiliation David Waddington experienced in the Thatcher years during the Manchester Strangeways prison riot. Blunkett said that there must be no ‘dithering’. “If I have to ring [the then defence secretary] Geoff Hoon and bring in the army, so be it, but by dawn I want the prison retaken and I want order restored,”

Narey told Blunkett that he would take the prison back – but would not risk prisoner or staff lives in doing so – a perfectly sensible and measured response – one would have thought.

According to Mr Narey… “He (Blunkett) shrieked at me that he didn’t care about lives, told me to call in the army and ‘machine gun’ prisoners and, still shrieking, again ordered me to take the prison back immediately. I refused. David hung up.”

I watched a TV programme about Blunkett last night. It was not that interesting. It all seemed a bit sad – but this story is rather more worrying than the Kimberley Quinn fiasco.

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