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Archive for October 18th, 2006

It came to me, after reading The Lawyer, that my firm would benefit from having an LPC course tailored to our specific needs. It also occurred to me that by having such a course, I would be able to control the content, to some extent, and ensure that our future trainees could be isolated from unhelpful influences and be trained to an exceptionally high standard in our ways.

Discretion does not permit me to name the institution we approached for this tailored LPC service, nor have I identified the team from the law school who came to our Canary Wharf offices to meet with me. I arranged for the ‘Team’ from the law school to a breakfast meeting at 0645 Hrs. I wanted to see how sharp these people were.

I have a taste for pillars and long corridors – which, given that our office is of modern construction, I had specially built. The columns are actually made of polystyrene, but look very much like the real thing. My office is at the end of this corridor; with departmental heads and section heads in offices leading off this central artery.

The law school team arrived on time. Here is a picture from our high definition CCTV unit – which I have had blurred to disguise the identity of those involved. My PA, Eva Brown, is pictured leading them in through our reception. From time to time, especially with clients who seek my litigation expertise, I use a pogo stick to travel down the corridor to reception. It was useful on this occasion to do so – to view the Team’s reaction and, perhaps, place them in a state of unease. There were three of them; two men and a woman. I was reminded of ‘Reservoir Dogs’ when I saw them with their sharp suits, toned bodies and almost vulpine expressions as they greeted me. I was intrigued by their airline style wheelie bags. I have seen clients with such bags – going into our accounts department.

A light Continental breakfast had been laid out on my conference table. We sat down and I watched as their CEO took out a laptop from his wheeliebag. I could not, of course, allow him to plug his laptop into our network. He had anticipated this. His pitch was polished. His idea about dispensing with areas of the LPC of little interest to our type of firm – conveyancing, wills, probate et al – was on the button and his thoughts on bringing in MBA style business content were right up to the minute. It might help those trainees who didn’t make the cut. I turned and nodded to Eva. She walked briskly over to a display cabinet and took out a Katana – a beautifully hand crafted sword used by The Samurai. She unsheathed it and I threw a croissant into the air. It was sliced perfectly in half. Eva returned the sword to the cabinet and sat down at the table.
“That” I said “Is how we view legal practice at this firm… quick, perfectly executed and effective. Can you focus on that in your course offering?”

The CEO turned to his colleague, a slightly younger man whose mind was clearly uncluttered with academic influences or experience.

“Our course” the younger man said “Is innovative. We provide everything a student needs to know in a pack. We do not encourage students to read law books, articles or even law reports. We focus on what is essential, what is important…..

To be continued….

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