Archive for February 9th, 2007

Let me introduce you to Barrister ‘A’…

I can’t reveal his name – yet, but Barrister A will shortly be writing on a regular basis. Barrister A was educated at Harrow, The LSE (LLB), Oxford (BCL) and hacked his way through the old style Bar exams (Now the ‘BVC’) at The Inns of Court School of Law. He was called to the Bar in 1980 and dare not apply for Silk in case it reduces his income. He is married to an actress (resting) and has not had time, nor income, for children. [A friend of his, in another set, was made a Silk recently. Apparently, the new Silk has had the time, since elevation, to appear as a participant on Flog it and Cash in the Attic – telling the presenters of these popular daytime television shows that it ‘is time for someone else to enjoy his collection of Georgian Silver and Chippendale chairs.’]

We met, somewhat implausibly, at Spearmint Rhino – where we were taken to listen to a lecture (3 CPD points) by Matt Muttley, managing partner of Muttley Dastardly LLP.

Barrister A has political aspirations and is likely to be selected to a safe Labour seat. He tells me that it is a constituency near Doncaster, which he felt sure was somewhere near Birmingham. He accepts that he may not be in ‘government’ after the next election, but takes the entirely sensible view that this will give him time to learn the skills of being a backbench MP and develop his knowledge and skill as a ‘player.’ I am able to say that Barrister A has many of the venal qualities required of political players and I feel certain that it will only be a matter of time before he makes his mark as a future ‘Whip’. He reads The Tribune – or so he says.

Barrister A has few convictions, no scruples – but nor does he feel the need to mess around with ‘rent boys’, indulge in unusual sexual acts involving nooses and satsumas or have secret fantasies about female Tory MPs. He, most definitely, does not wear his shirt tucked into his underpants. I have no direct knowledge of this – but a lap dancer, who we met at ‘Nobu’, recently, assured me that he did not have this unusual habit.

Barrister A has promised me that he will be ready to file his first report here…..shortly…

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Drinking it pretty…and the magic bus…

Anyone who enjoys a few drinks knows about the ‘Magic Bus’ – a phenomenon which arises after the consumption of approximately 5 beers or the better part of a bottle of wine. The drinker is sitting in a bar. The room is full of people – some good looking, others – not so blessed. The drinker goes to the lavatory. While he is in the lavatory the magic bus arrives and disembarks astonishingly good looking women and takes everyone else, who had been in the bar, home. (The phenomenon also affects women – please construe the above according to taste and orientation)

It is sometimes known as the ‘Beer goggles’ effect. I am delighted to be able to report that scientists are now able to explain the ‘beer goggles’ effect with a formula (pictured). The BBC have the story.

Scientists believe they have worked out a formula to calculate how “beer goggles” affect a drinker’s vision.

Formula explained:

An = number of units of alcohol consumed
S = smokiness of the room (graded from 0-10, where 0 clear air; 10 extremely smoky)
L = luminance of ‘person of interest’ (candelas per square metre; typically 1 pitch black; 150 as seen in normal room lighting)
Vo = Snellen visual acuity (6/6 normal; 6/12 just meets driving standard)
d = distance from ‘person of interest’ (metres; 0.5 to 3 metres)

The magic taxi

I have benefited from this phenomenon, I am sure, in my time – but it is surprising how powerful the effect is. Thankfully, the magic taxi arrives the next morning and either one can take it or have one’s vision of beauty of the night before, delivered back to their home.

It is pleasing that scientists have time to work this out – hopefully they can now get on with solving other medical problems…

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Good to be proved wrong…

Having expressed the view (below) that England may struggle in the Final one day series against the Aussies – I watched the last half hour of play this morning. England beat the Aussies – deservedly so. 2007 is improving.

On a sporting theme – with some legal interest:

9th February The Guardian
“Legal action is being brought against high street clothing giant JJB Sports to try to recoup millions of pounds for thousands of football fans who were overcharged for replica football shirts. The national consumers’ organisation Which? is urging people who bought more than 1m England and Manchester United football shirts between April 2000 and August 2001 to support its test case claim for damages.”

Afraid of the dentist?

No need to be! Colgate has sent out special masks to dentists. Almost as good a marketing idea as law firms getting their trainees to write blogs about how good the firm is.

Here are some more Colgate dental masks.

Indebted to Geeklawyer for posting this on his blog:

I think you may be an arsehole …

February 7th, 2007 This is possibly an uncomfortable test for many lawyers to take: the ‘are you an arsehole?‘ test.

The Verdict BBC 2 Sunday 9.00

Lord “Jailbird” Archer heads a list of celebrities in a new BBC production where the jurors will deliberate and decide a fictional court case. Archer who did ‘porridge’ for perjury will, no doubt, bring his special expertise to bear.  Is that Mr McKay sitting on the back row behind Archer?  Good god!!…It is Michael Portillo. Haven’t a clue who the rest of the jurors are.

2.05 pm: Lord Archer is in the Jury Room.  At least no Davina in this reality show…. but it would have been good to have the Big Brother narrator with the excellent accent doing the commentary.

If I am not out doing some wine tasting I may well watch….. It may well be quite a good programme. We shall see. A bit of a busman’s holiday for some of you, I suspect.  But should be interesting for law students.  CPD points would have been useful here.

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