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Archive for May 31st, 2007

It is Caption Competition time again…

The winner of my “Goodbye to Blair” caption Competition for May 2007…….. is:

After a record entry of 37 …. (view them here)

Blair: “No, no, don’t come any closer, Gordon! I said ELECTION, not erection…”

Comment by Martin — Friday, May 11, 2007

Martin… please contact me so that I can get a bottle of Rioja from my personal crate to you

and a book voucher from Wildy’s bookshop.

***

CAPTION COMPETITION FOR JUNE

This month, to demonstrate my political fairness, I have a picture of Sir Ming….

The prize is, as ever, a bottle of Rioja… and a voucher from Wildy’s

And… just to start you off… here is my offering:

“Look… no support…”

OK… OK… I am in a bar using their Wi-fi … “Summertime…. and the drinking is easy….”

Do your worst / best…. and remember the Olympic tradition… It is better to win than to take part.

Result at the beginning of July….

As always… I am the umpire… and I don’t have any assistance from hawkeye or a third or even fourth umpire…. I like democracy… but.. my caption competitions are a matter of ‘caprice’…

Mind you… if I was really independent – politically…. I would have asked you to try your hand at writing a caption for the pic of Webcameron who is, apparently… the ‘true heir to Blair’…. I am sure the good people of Tonbridge and the South East of England were pleased to hear George Osborne (Shadow Chancellor) say that!

By the way… I am thinking of:

Becoming an MP, without bothering with an election.. after all… what is good for the next PM, is good for the gander.

***
Yes… “Charon QC, MP”…. sounds good to me. I don’t mind if I don’t become PM….I’ll just hang out on the back benches, smoking cigarettes at the Commons – which, I am told, will be exempt from the new “No Smoking” regulations due on 1st July…. and I certainly won’t be daft enough to get my travel card taken away from me, unlike three MPs… who, it is alleged, have had their travel cards taken away from them [Only we don’t know who they are because Freedom of Information legislation can only go so far.]

Observant readers will note that I have put the pic of WebCameron on the ‘right’.

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You’re fired…

The Lord Chancellor isn’t searching for an apprentice (although some say that he may be searching for something else to do after 27th June) but, according to The Lawyer, lawyers who cause delays to court cases will be fired and defendants will be asked to find new lawyers – who, no doubt, will take a bit of time to master the brief and, presumably, cause yet further delay?

This comes in the wake of the delays in the BCCI case. Mr Justice Tomlinson “labelled the behaviour of some of the lawyers as “unattractive”, singling out Essex Court Chambers’ Gordon Pollock QC’s 80-day opening speech as “wasted”.

In a move which would certainly meet with the approval of Muttley Dastardly LLP managing partner, Matt Muttley – Ashurst managing partner Simon Bromwich has called for the abolition of PQE as a measure of progress. The Lawyer

Bromwich wants to consign the seniority pay based structure of PQE to history and base payments to associates solely on merit. Excellent idea! Now the firms will be able to have subtle gradations of pay, promote internal competition and judge pay scales finely according to what they think they can away with with each associate – taking into account the market for particular practice areas and the likelihood of a particular associate jumping ship to another firm. The fact that the PQE system may breach age discrimination legislation also had to be taken into account, of course.

Teachers get new powers

The Telegraph reports: Teachers or security guards will be able to search pupils for knives and other offensive weapons without their consent, under a new law which comes into force today.

One Union has already suggested that teachers be issued with protective clothing when carrying out these searches. If a pupil turns up to school with a knife, there is, I would have thought, a risk (in perhaps a small percentage of cases) that a pupil may object to being searched and use the weapon.

Mind you, the place of detention I attended in Scotland, while gaining an education, had one master who was not averse to throwing board dusters and digging boys in the back with a giant size pair of dividers to elicit an answer to Pythagoras’ theorem. He taught Geometry and could not understand why some pupils did not share his love of the subject. Fortunately he only required Pythagoras-lite… not the 73 proofs. He’s a goner now, but I feel certain that wherever he is, he is still chucking board dusters about.

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