Archive for June 24th, 2007

Sporrans and other animals…

On the day when a Scot becomes leader of the Labour Party and the next PM on Wednesday – kilt wearing Scots are now going to have get a licence to wear their sporrans if they happen to have a sporran made out of dead animals. The BBC reports that sporran wearers are going to have “to prove that the animal was killed lawfully before they will be issued with a licence.” The maximum penalty for wearing an illegal sporran is fairly hefty – the usual £5000 and six months in prison.

Mon dieu… I am reporting on law… on a Sunday evening. I had to wear a kilt on Sundays for 10 years while I was at schools in Scotland between the ages of 8-18. I am pleased to say (despite being a Scot) that I am not remotely interested in brigadoonery or tamfoolery – and a Kilt with a black dinner jacket and bow tie is not, to my eye, a pleasing spectacle. Rob Roy would be turning in his grave, as they say, if he was alive today. [Somewhat bizarrely, I found, when googling ‘sporrans’, a story about a sporran maker who has taken to making porn movies.]


The Times reports: “THE Prince of Wales has been found wanting in his efforts to save the world from global warming. Charles and his royal household have generated more than 1,500 tons of carbon dioxide in the past year, according to an independent audit.”

Excellent… I really must buy some more Highgrove lemon curd, and a few of those weird biscuits he makes when he isn’t being Prince Charles, to help him become more carbon neutral. Mind, you.. I am desperately worried about my carbon footprint from 1st July when I take my portable heater with me, wherever I go, to keep myself warm while I smoke outside.

According to The Sun a French mistress at Chesham School has launched an internet rant at her British pupils “claiming some are “little s***s” who should be SLAPPED. Apparently she posted her fairly robust views on the dimwit pupils and their little s**t breeding parents on her blog (Miss Frenchie’s World.’ The blog seems to have disappeared.) The French teacher is reported as saying: “You also have the little s***s’ parents who can’t believe their kid is a nightmare. What a shame that we can’t say, ‘Please slap him/her, tell him/her he/she is a little s***’. No, we have to be positive. That’s one thing we don’t do in France — if you’re rubbish, you’re rubbish.”

I have to agree… far too much pandering to talentless children by parents these days – especially at gastropubs in West London.. I have ‘seen with mine own eyes’… it is not a pleasing spectacle. I am going to encourage the owners of The Bollo and The Swan to employ this French teacher ( I presume she will need another job) as a doorperson to encourage these parents to take their children to Tootsies or some other child friendly and suitable environment.

And finally – for this mildly surreal Sunday evening… another story involving our illustrious profession. The BBC reports: “A senior Aberdeenshire lawyer has appeared in court charged with damaging 11 cars following a party at a golf club in Perthshire. Paul Hutcheson tore windscreen wipers from parked cars, causing nearly £1,000 of damage on his way home from his mother’s 80th birthday celebrations.”

I am now able to rest… and have a glass of Rioja… watch some documentaries… perhaps learn how to build a plane and then… to dream..

Buona notte


Harriet Harman elected as Deputy Leader of Labour.

“Mr and Mrs Awkward” as Quentin Letts described the Brown/Harman act. I’ll rest tonight knowing that Reactionary Snob has a useful take on the matter. Those of a nervous disposition etc…. avert your eyes. 🙂

I actually watched the BBC coverage of the ‘special conference’ this afternoon… I just can be bothered to write about it. The only interesting bit, to my jaded eye after voting Labour for 29 years, was Blair’s speech! You have to hand it to Blair – a performer… almost Roman, today… “Friends, Romans, countrymen… I come to praise Brown, not to bury him.”

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