Archive for August 14th, 2007

Eat what you kill?…

Caveman behaviour twice in one day? Yes… earlier I posted about Mr Dunn, a barrister being tried for GBH (Below) – but now my mind has turned to diet – the stoneage diet.

I was reading the Independent and came across a two page spread on the stoneage diet. The Indie reports that the ‘rule of thumb’ is – “If you can’t gather it from a bush or tree, or spear it, it’s probably best not to eat it.”

So… lean meat, fish, fresh fruit and vegetables. Eggs, dried fruit (without added sugar or vegetable oil) nuts and seeds are fine. Unfortunately, pizzas, pasta, cornflakes, beans, grains, potatoes and dairy products are not acceptable.

I read through the article to see if H M Chief Medical Officer, Sir Liam Donaldson, had anything to do with this article. It appears not. (Readers may be aware that I suffer from Irrationalis Loca Donaldsonia, a most unfortunate condition, which flares up whenever busybodies, doctors and others start telling me how to live my life.)

I am told that a diet over rich in meat can lead lead to lethargy and flatulence. Thankfully, I have evolved from the days of Homo Erectus (although it was a close run thing) and I am pleased to say that I have developed the ability to spear a bottle of Rioja from a fair distance – and I enjoy nothing better than using my stoneage skills to hunt down a bit of pasta, pizza, espresso and the odd pack of cigarettes. I am doing my duty for my country – paying fairly heavy tax on wine and cigarettes and, if I go to the great blog in the sky early, I will not be a burden to our over-burdened sceptred isle in terms of pension and medical care. In fact, I should be given an honour for this selfless devotion to releasing housing, minimising my carbon footprint, minimising my impact on the tax payers of the future and taking myself out of the gene pool early. Yes. Time for the government to invent a suitable new honour.

Mind you… I haven’t gone yet… so the matter is still executory. I am working on it. We British never surrender. It may take time… but, in the end, I’ll get it right. Ars longa, vita brevis etc etc….

In the meantime… a bit of jazz… a glass of Rioja… a cigarette – outside of course. It would be ironic if I died of pneuomonia from the cold and inclement weather.

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