Trawling through the various online versions of newspapers at 4.00 this morning, replete with knowledge from the sensible newspapers about developments in the law, Jack Straw shelving plans to let judges return to practising law and the credit crunch affecting the world banking system, I just had to go to The Sun and The Mirror websites.
First up in The Sun was an item about Drunken Texts. Yes… many of us have sent intemperate emails when over refreshed and, indeed, I may (but make no formal admission) have written the odd blog post while enjoying a glass of Rioja. One example of a drunken text cited by The Sun: “If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I’d put u and I together” had a hint of romance about it but was just a variant of the ‘do you want a shag later’ texts flying around the country on Friday nights.
Then I discovered that “FALLEN soccer star Paul Gascoigne was grounded by airport staff for being too sozzled to fly.” before moving on to a call by The Sun to lock Pete Doherty up for going back on heroin. The Sun wants magistrates to step up to the plate and jail him for his own good… or the good of the newspaper circulation figures.
And then it was on to read about “Macca’s smacker with a married cracker”. It was enough. I could take no more. I pushed a white flag out of my study window and surrendered to Police Community Support officers who were loitering in the vicinity checking tax discs and hedge growth.
Off for an espresso or three and a few Silk Cuts. The Cafe I frequent opens as 6.30 am… mercifully.
I did like the pic (above) warning other newspapers off – it was, after all, a “Sun World Exclusive”. At least I managed to shoehorn a bit of law in…
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