Archive for February 17th, 2008

Hat Tip to Reactionary Snob, for alerting his readers to the story below:

As Reactionary Snob puts it….

“And people wonder why red-faced buffers like myself don’t trust the government or the mandarins of the Civil Service… This shower couldn’t organise a blowjob in a brothel with a bag of diamonds. I don’t know what is worse – a) they mistake two places with similar names b) they don’t check who and how much they are paying c) that when they receive too much money the council don’t pay it back and d) there’s no chance we’ll get it fucking back! “

LONDON (AFP) – A Staffordshire town is refusing to pay back over a million pounds in grants on Thursday after embarrassed civil servants confused them with another English city. The Department for Communities and Local Government mistook the market town of Newcastle-Under-Lyme — with a population of just 74,000 people — with the industrial city of Newcastle-Upon-Tyne — which is 186 miles away and has 260,000 residents — when calculating funding budgets, resulting in a 1.1 million pound overpayment.

And…. from another political blog… Guido has a story, under the headline “Blinky Ball’s Brainwave to fund the PSBR: Sharia Law” that H M Government is doing a feasibility study to see if it will be possible to borrow Islamic money under Sharia Finance Law principles… ‘Sukuk’. I’ve just read H M Treasury’s paper on the subject.

A parable for our times from the net…

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

‘I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree’ sighed the turkey, ‘but I haven’t got the energy.’

‘Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?’ replied the bull. They’re packed with nutrients.’

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.

An Algerian living in Britain who was wrongly accused of being involved in the 9/11 terror attacks tells for the first time today of how his life has been ‘ruined’ by the police and the Crown Prosecution Service. Last week the Court of Appeal ruled that the High Court had been wrong to block him from suing the government for compensation, paving the way for a ground-breaking claim for damages.” Observer

A short Weekend Review this week – Podcast 47 with Julie Brannan of The Oxford Institute of Legal Practice goes up tomorow.

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Bottled water and interfering busybodies…

The absurdity of paying ridiculous prices for bottled water at restaurants and the nonsense of transporting water from all over the world to a Britain awash with rain and a good quality water supply is finally attracting media attention…. I always drink tap water and so far I have not grown breasts nor do I seem to be off my head on a permanent high from oestrogen and cocaine residues in the Thames. Of course, when I am not drinking water, I drink espresso and red wine.

I was having my usual breakfast this morning at 6.45 am when I saw a jogger go by clutching a bottle of Evian water. The outside temperature was just touching zero… and I was reading in the press that it cost ten litres of water to make just one litre of bottled water. I lit a cigarette and reflected on this. It does a make a bit of a nonsense of carbon footprint and offsets to import water from as far away as Fiji or New Zealand.

But then I remembered a press clipping cut from the Daily Mirror yesterday. “Fancy a fag? Get a permit” screamed the headline. Prof Julian Le Grand of The London School of Economics has come up with a plan to get smokers to opt in and be required to fill in an exceptionally complex form to get a permit (and pay £10) to be permitted to smoke. Smokers should be forced to carry a licence to smoke…say health watchdogs. Clearly, Prof Le Grand Buffoon has way too much time on his hands and we have had quite enough from medical watchdogs in recent years as far as I am concerned. Ministers are looking for input ‘from a wide range of views’, apparently. Why not have a “Porker licence’… for the obese?, binge-drinking permits for topers?, talking licences, valid only at middle class dinner parties, for bores who want to drone on about the value of their houses and the future profitability of their tediously overtalented and e-numbered up children? The list is capable of no end.

I lit another cigarette and even contemplated getting a bottle of Rioja from the convenience store next door and do a bit of jogging, swigging out of the wine bottle, as I ran down the high street. It was just too early for that. I shall wait until sunset.

I found this very convenient wrist bottle on the net for the athletically minded young woman who likes a bit of Chardonnay while she jogs or works out. Weighs half a pound when fully loaded – so a bit of extra exercise as well.

Is it too late for me to apply to run in the London Marathon this year? I do hope so.

I must go now to meditate… to prepare myself to a state of zen in preparation for lunch and the composition and writing of my ‘Weekend Review’. Alternatively, I may contact the Archbishop of Canterbury to see if he needs any help with his next public speech. His last effort won “God Idol”. His next one may get him a hosting position on “Have I got Gods for You”.

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