Audio version: West London Man (2) – A trip to Lords is coming up
” Caroline… have you seen that MCC tie I bought on Ebay a couple of weeks ago?”
West London Man is in his study at his Chiswick home answering emails. He is thinking about the trader he fired at the bank only this morning. It was, perhaps, a bit tasteless to discuss the young trader’s future on the way up in the lift to the trading floor at the Canary Wharf HQ – but it was a nice touch, WLM thought, to have completed the matter before the lift arrived at the trading floor and to press the “ground” button on the lift as he bade goodbye to his former colleague. He had read a story where this happened in one of the papers. It may have been The Evening Standard and he was inspired by the story.
Mrs West London Man is in the kitchen. Their children, Jocasta (4) and Peregrine (2), are in bed asleep and the housekeeper/nanny is busy in her small studio flat at the back of the house emailing her mother in Poland to see if the reports of an economic miracle in Poland are true and that she, too, can return to Warsaw and start her career with Poland’s leading bank PKO Bank Polski.
“Caroline?…. have you seen that MCC tie I bought on Ebay a couple of weeks ago?”
“What colour is it?”
“Red and Yellow stripes”
“Is that the tie you wear when you go to see Trade Union fund managers?”
“What?”
“You know… George…. that awful red and yellow thing you wear when you have to see the unions.”
“No… no… darling…. That is a Labour Party election rosette… This is a tie.,.. cricket tie…The MCC Tie, to be precise… red and yellow stripes. I tried buying one at a gentleman’s outfitters but they asked some awkward questions about entitlement….. RED AND YELLOW STRIPES!… it arrived last week by courier.”
“Oh… that one… yes… I have seen it.”
George paused for a moment, drummed his fingers on the reproduction partner desk, and said patiently…
“Good, darling… and where do you think you saw it last?”
“It’s on the back of your chair in your study.”
***
And… you know?… it was… just as Caroline said… on the back of the chair George was sitting at.
***
AUDIO VERSION OF WEST LONDON MAN 2
” Caroline… have you seen that MCC tie I bought on Ebay a couple of weeks ago?”
I have an audio version for you….
Here it is.
***
West London Man is going to Lords this Saturday to watch England v New Zealand. He will be wearing his MCC tie. He is not entitled to wear it – but that does not trouble him at all. Full report and scorecard as events develop on Charon this Saturday.
[Editorial Note: George and Caroline have absolutely no idea that their nanny, Katja, is a fully qualified Mergers & Acquisitions specialist and Ph.d degree holder in her own country and is about to leave her life of domestic servitude ‘West London style’. They will be distraught when they find out. Caroline may not be able to cope and will possibly be seeing her therapist in Notting Hill. Caroline will be ‘distrait’ – so much more…. ‘Chiswick’… than ‘distraught’. ]
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The Daily Mail reports that 300 years of tradition are about to be thrown away as the Judges of England & Wales bring themselves up to date with new robes designed by Betty Jackson. Captain Luc Picard, commander of The USS Enterprise, has not been approached by Jack “The Lad Chancellor” Straw to be a High Court judge – but may well be interested in acquiring a ‘people’s version’ of these robes for private recreational purposes.
