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Archive for June 6th, 2008

Audio Version: West London Man (11): Biscuits…

Friday 6.00 pm: George calls Hugo his friend who works for a City Law Firm. Caroline has called to say that she is going out for drinks with an old friend and that her mother is looking after the children for the evening.

***

Ring… ring…. ring…. ring

Hugo: Hello

George: Hugo,  it’s George.

Hugo: Hello, George what can I do you for this late on a Friday afternoon?

George: What sort of biscuits does your firm serve up to clients at meetings?

Hugo: What sort of biscuits? I’ve know idea… why? Have you started on the sherbert a bit early?

George: One of our compliance guys is a lawyer. He read on Rollonfriday that there has been a survey of what biscuits City firms have served up. I’ll quote from the report: “The quality of a firm’s biscuits are the key to its success….. A poll of 1,000 business people by Holiday Inn has found that lawyers are the professionals most likely to be impressed by a decent selection of biscuits. 80% of those who were quizzed said that the type of biscuit served to clients could have a bearing on the outcome of a deal, and chocolate digestives are apparently the top choice. Hob Nobs and Jammy Dodgers also did well.”

Hugo: For Christ’s sake George…. I’m not interesting in F*****g biscuits… is that all you called about?

George: No… of course not. Caroline has gone out tonight with an old friend. Her mother is looking after the children…. just called to see if you fancy a drink. I want to run an idea up the flagpole. We have an elephant in the room over here and I’d like to have a preliminary chat. You can bill an hour and then we have some dinner and the evening is ours.

Hugo: Yes… sure… not a problem. Been here since 6.00 this morning. Meet at The Law Society in Chancery Lane?

George: You’ve got to be joking, Hugo….. nope… let’s go somewhere a little bit more lively. Groucho Club… the doorway with the Duck tiles on the floor. Ask for me at reception and I’ll come out. I’ll be there by 7.00

Hugo: OK. See you at 7.00

***

Audio Version: West London Man (11): Biscuits…

Other episodes of West London Man (Some with audio versions / sound effects / music)

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MEMORANDUM

To: Partners

RE: TOUGH LAWYER

I’ve just had my attention drawn to the Toronto law firm of Irving Solnik through a post in the news section of RollonFriday today.

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1. The approach to business of law taken by Solnik is on point. I draw your attention to a statement on his website:

WHEN LEGAL MATTERS ARE TOUGH THEY BECOME GRIST TO HIS MILL AND HE BECOMES MUCH TOUGHER — TOUGHER THAN HE USUALLY IS!

“He is an aggressive no nonsense lawyer who can remedy legal problems or matters that trouble you and rid you of the pain, often quickly and easily.

No matter what your legal problem may be Irving Solnik can invariably and often solve it, at times quickly and easily too.”

Worth checking the front page of the website out.  Straight, tough, talking.

2. Solnik takes a pragmatic line with clients:

“Truth is vital to the administration of justice and according to Irving Solnik, “There are many gray areas in law but in my opinion there is no gray area about the truth.” Yet it can be questionable if all clients tell the entire truth at all times. An absence of truth has the potential to seriously hinder the legal process and a client’s ability to receive the justice they deserve.

Before he accepts a new client, Irving Solnik, always advises the client to be totally truthful with him and if he finds otherwise, he immediately resigns as counsel for his client.”

3. If we have any Canadian based issues – this may be our man.

Matt Muttley
Managing Partner

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West Moscow Man?….

Putin makes satire of him illegal

“On a talk show last autumn, a prominent political analyst named Mikhail Delyagin offered some tart words about Vladimir Putin. When the program was televised, Delyagin was not.

His remarks were cut and he was digitally erased from the show, like a disgraced comrade airbrushed from an old Soviet photo. (The technicians may have worked a bit hastily; they left his disembodied legs in one shot.)”

Herald Tribune | Hat Tip Volokh Conspiracy

Fortunately, satirising Putin is not illegal in West London – although I will be concerned if a PCSO with a Russian accent arrives at my door with an umbrella or a cup of radioactive tea.

***

Thank God Gordon Brown hasn’t taken up fishing.

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