Audio podcast: Charon Report (10): Day Two, Tory Conference
Exhausted from watching BBC News 24 coverage of the collapse of the financial world last night, and reluctant to borrow any more shares from my local vicar in non-banking sectors to short sell, I decided not to flog up the motorway to listen to David Cameron today but to do it the easy way and wait for The Blue Blog to send me an email.
So, I report to you tonight, from the Boat, a glass of Rioja to my right and a pack of Britain’s finest woodbines to my left. The Blue Blog Email arrived about fifteen minutes ago. David, I was told, “promised that we will do everything possible to help the Government protect our financial security.” I listened to his unscheduled speech. He wants to get a couple of things straight – I paraphrase….. we must not let anger cloud judgment, easy to see why people are pissed off with bankers who come to us to bail them out… will be a day of reckoning…. but not today. Must do everything we can to protect the stability…. and then a huge amount of clapping. Today is a day for safety, security and protection. Cameron then, perhaps succumbing to omnipotence, told us that he would always do the right thing to protect our future.
All good guff, of course… but it was at this point that I started hunting around The Blue Blog to see if there were any Conservative policies lurking in dark corners. I could not find any – but I did come across a blog post by George Osborne, written… possibly in a moment of post politico-coital tendresse, shortly after Cameron’s 
impromptu speech. A beautifully and sensitively photographed Osborne… looking composed and serious, almost grave…. wrote: “We are in the eye of a global financial storm, and people across Britain will be worried by the events they can see unfolding on the news. We will not allow party politics to get in the way of tackling this crisis. That is why David Cameron has just made a special address to the Conservative Party offering to work with the Government to introduce new powers to save failing banks, protect savings and break the cycle of liquidity drying up by temporarily suspending mark-to-market accounting. Our principle is clear: we must protect the taxpayer where possible and stabilise the system where necessary.”
I could hear Jerusalem in my head, triggering images of our sceptred isle, of the recent summer season, the Henley Regatta, Glyndebourne…. the sounds of the English middle classes clapping at Wimbledon and shouting “Come on Tim!” – and then I realised I was reading what is supposed to be a serious blog. I made a point of reading both comments – one from a chap called No Display Name… who started his comment with.. and I quote:
“Sir,
Firstly, congratulations on delivering one of the most effective and honest speeches I have ever heard made by a Politician of any persuasion. I have been and will remain a life long Conservative but the issue you Sir and Colleagues face is regaining trust.”
This was a man or woman, a lifelong Tory, proud of his party but either to thick to write his or her name or who perhaps does not wish, yet, to be identified as one of the faithful publicly.
I enjoyed the use of the greeting “Sir”…. perhaps the writer recalled the good old days of fagging and the lash…. who knows? but his words appeared on the page to have come from another era in terms of the style of writing. There is a hint of this when the anonymous writer goes on to say “The British are a nation still of famously long suffering but, they possess an inherent, almost in-born sense of fair-play.” I could almost see Tom Brown smiling approvingly. Labour may do the Hovis metaphor well… but you have to hand it to The Tories… their new website and blog is slick… and the smooth looking photographs of Osborne and Cameron, subtly hinting at efficiency and the demeanour of those born to rule, is more Eton Boating Song than Keith Allen’s song ‘Vindaloo”.
It was at this point that my eye was caught by the words on The Blue Blog… “Show your support Join the Conservative Wall.” I just had to click the link... and while things are bad under labour (I have always voted Labour)…… I began to feel a shiver down my spine… it was not one of patriotism or new found zeal… it was one of pure horror at what may come to be.
So… on that note, as I don’t need to sit on a train getting pissed on my way back from Birmingham… I shall bid you goodnight and spend a little time with my cellar as the tide comes in.
This is Charon, reporting on Day Two of the Tory Conference, from The Boat.
***
I didn’t have much to do tonight so I thought I would go on BBC News 24, waffle a bit, as BBC News 24 have been doing for much of the evening, and try out my new ‘George Osborne Serious’ look.
I write, on this day of our lord, from the boat – amused to learn that The Church of England 
choice of venue given the way UK PLC seems to be going down the pan. Also, it has to be said – a very conveniently located establishment to The Boat. White Rabbit is, as regular readers will know, a barrister, published author and a law blogger who manages to avoid writing about law on his blog. A man after my own heart. A thoroughly enjoyable evening – despite the problems caused to WR by London’s transport problems this weekend.
soundings on this not from the fourth estate but from the world of the bloggers.
Cameron, that today’s entry on THE BLUE BLOG included this fascinating post by someone called Charles Barnwell: ” Something happened this morning that I don’t think has ever happened before. Party conferences are usually about talk. And that moment of reflection set the tone for what’s been a very different conference already. Black Voices Gospel Choir Sang; the council leader told us how Birmingham has become a global city with a local heart; and Karen Brady cheered “Come on you Blues!”
Birmingham in the national press or television. I do recall, some years ago, that a soap opera called CrossRoads was set in Birmingham. I can’t remember watching it that often but I do remember some fat bloke in a beanie hat who was a bit simple called Benny being one of the characters. And who could forget Amy Turtle and Meg Richardson? I shall log on to 
Having written 
with hair drawn off their faces and held in a pony tail to make themselves look even more over-nourished waddled about and sat down at the tables nearest the cafe door. They were soon joined by a bloke with a moustache wearing Chelsea FC football strip. The Polish waitress took their order, smiling away, but even she found it difficult to maintain her composure when man with moustache farted – a ripper that GAZPROM could probably have sold on the natural gas market.
Insitelaw blog and plan, each day, rather than use the website, to post articles and commentary on the blog and enjoy an easier life where search engines, filing and the like is all done by WordPress. So – if you fancy a bit of law and news, a daily legal news podcast and some commentary – please visit Insitelaw. All FREE. Now the long summer is over I shall be posting most days – probably every weekday. If you would like to write something for Insitelaw (no money in it, I’m afraid) I will be delighted to publish. My email is on the magazine website and on the blog. Will start posting to blog from tomorrow – only intro stuff on there at the moment.
ask if the Polis had hacked in or if he was planning some cunning developments to the blog.
dissonance and the gift of distance. About my wet island home.” I’ve started to dip in. Good stuff – and if you want a different take on London 
appearing on The Andrew Marr Show. 
conference – contrasting it with rather different remarks made by the then Mr Alan Sugar in 1992.
Battersea bridge. Unfortunately, I only have a mobile phone camera available at present as my camera and other kit is still in store. The photograph doesn’t do 
justice to the beautiful morning but, hopefully, gives you a sense of the scene this morning. The other view is up river.
I have a couple of German friends – both amusing with a sense of the bizarre. One, fortunately, is in London – so I could not resist a quick email to tell him that I had learned to speak german in only five days : “Guten Abend Hans. Ich schreibe aus meinem Boot nach dem Lernen zu sprechen Deutsch in nur fünf Tagen. Das ist gut … ja?”
Last week some thought the world would end when the CERN boys switched on the Large Hadron Collider. This week it was the turn of the bankers to see what they could do to bring havoc to the world. The blood ran on Wall St and through financial markets worldwide. The masters of the universe, with names like “The Gorilla” who once ruled global markets, find, five days after the horrors of ‘Black Monday’, a very different financial landscape. Lehman – gone. AIG – effectively nationalised. Merrill Lynch – swallowed by Bank of America, Morgan Stanley contemplating selling 49% off to the Chinese, HBOS – gobbled up by so-called ‘Black Carthorse’ Lloyds TSB and now… even mighty Goldman Sachs is wondering whether they too will be able to ride the storm.
Lehman? Naturally, I had to have a look. As at midday the result is:
a name for himself. He’s founder of the law firm Sandomire & Schwartz, and was recently selected to be a Colorado delegate to the US Republican National Convention. Here’s an interview with the charming fellow. “Less taxes and more war!” – what an arse.”
the Brown Calculator – very definitely worth a go to lighten your budens and raise your spirits. 
You have to hand it to the Americans. In a week when the world is reeling from financial armageddon the 
A quick trawl through The Lawyer, Legal Week and online newspapers threw up some quite interesting information.
barrister’s chambers are picking up fallout work from Lehman, AIG, Lloyds-HBOS et al.
at 4912. It is inconceivable that the crisis has ended…. there will be more banking failures to come, FTSE may well fall even further…. as Churchill would have said, if he was alive today,…. “This is Gordon’s Brown’s darkest hour.”
The Independent carried a story today about the dangers of police officers sitting on juries. The law was reformed five years ago to widen the pool from which jurors could be called to include judges, lawyers, police and others. I thought at the time that having judges, experienced lawyers and police on juries would, ultimately, not work – despite protestations to the contrary at the time that jurors with judicial or police experience would serve impartially. I am not a criminal lawyer, but it is interesting when four senior Crown Court judges are critical. One judge is reported as saying: “I do think the notion of opening up juries to those actually involved in the legal system is a step too far. When I say the legal system, I include police officers.” Another said: “I think it’s too far to have judges and policemen sit on juries… In a criminal case police in particular are not who you would want on a dispassionate jury.”
dispute resolution. Falconer said Lehman-related litigation would follow three stages. First, there would be a series of disputes to determine the exact nature of the liabilities, then there would be a battle to determine how the bank’s remaining assets should be distributed and finally creditors would seek to identify institutions, advisors or regulatory bodies they could blame for their loss.
spots along the River Cam in Cambridge. Cambridge City Council mounted two cameras under a pavilion roof to spy on punters and council staff took hundreds of photographs. The use of the cameras was authorised under the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act (RIPA). Labour councillor Lewis Herbert said the council was justified in using the cameras, for health and safety reasons.
Is The Stig a High Court judge? Well… anything is possible and certainly, these days, our senior judges are very more closely in touch with daily life than perhaps once they were –
but, no… it is unlikely that The Stig is a senior judge. But…. if The Stig is a high court judge… these will be his day job robes (without wig) from 1st October when the new look judiciary hits town in non-criminal cases. The learned friends, however, will continue to dress as they have done for centuries… although it has to be said… one does not see many blue and red bags around these days…it is all stewardess style suitcases on trolleys these days to cart the kit, laptops and files around.
Charon QC 