Archive for September 14th, 2008

It is fortunate indeed that the infliction of grievous bodily harm on oneself is not, as yet, a criminal offence. Mind you, I don’t suppose that our hapless prime minister, Gordon Brown, would be too enthusiastic about the promulgation of such an offence at the moment.  It can only be a matter of time before someone suggests that he should be extradited to face justice at the International Criminal Court for being completely useless and ineffective as a latter day dictator.

This is by the by and I revert to my opening theme.  It would appear that I was led astray by Geeklawyer and Jaffne at the Porterhouse pub in Covent garden on Friday afternoon.  It appears also that I was so astonished by Geeklawyer’s choice of beer – strawberry beer – that I had to take holy wine immediately and ended up using maritime law  to marry them in a tasteless ceremony recorded for posterity on video. It would appear that residence on a houseboat does not, on closer inspection of the relevant maritime law statutes and caselaw, confer the powers of a ships’s captain – the proceedings are, therefore, null and void and the award of ‘Reverend’ from a bogus US university, awarded to be my email some years back, cut little ice with Lambeth Palace or The Registrar of Births, Marriages and Deaths.

So… what has been happening in the week that was?

I went to a most enjoyable dinner last night – a roast beef dinner – cooked by a good friend of mine who, in between swilling white wine with ice in it, managed to cook a remarkably good meal.  The company was enjoyable, perhaps too much so, for I found myself doing the ‘walk of shame’ from deepest Fulham back to the boats at 6.00 in the morning – a modest two mile walk; easily done when completely sober, but amusingly unusual when mildly over refreshed.  I did not fear being mugged.  At 6.ft 1, dressed in a long and battered Australian drizeabone, adopting the fervent glare of a Minister of The Church of Scotland fuelled by porridge, righteousness and asceticism in my eye, it was unlikely that I would be troubled.  In any event, hoodies and itinerant professional vulgarians and nutters tend to be asleep at that early hour.  I did, however, see some remarkably pissed people staggering down Fulham Broadway, girls in high heels, short skirts and skimpy tops tottering about giggling after a night on ecstasy tablets and a couple of chartered gorillas walking purposefully to cook some books and enjoy the flow of work from credit-crunched companies.

The world did not end on Thursday when the Large Hadron Collider was turned on. I was, however, inpired to begin a new series of “Charon Reports” and have wasted a few hours of what remains of my time on earth commentating upon the fact that Mayor Boris does not want any lawyers on his advisory panel (much to the consternation of some lawyers), that the credit-crunch is biting lawyers and the greatest evacuation of Brits from mainland Europe since Dunkirk following the collapse of an airline. It is unlikely that the news agencies will want to avail themselves of my flak jacketted reporting skills, but I may well continue to report on events as they unfold.

So… what have the Blawgers been up to?

My new Pageflakes page with over 80 blogs I read usefully summarised on one page has been remarkably useful to me in keeping abreast of things.

There is, of course, the 2nd Annual UK LawBlog Conference at a pub on Monday 15th – tomorrow night. RSVP to Geeklawyer’s blog if you wish to attend.

Geeklawyer has excellent video of US lawyers giving a masterclass in bad behaviour…. you just have to watch it… these lawyers go for GOLD – serious piss-heads.

Jimmy Bastard of Never Mind The Bollix continues to wreak havoc from his castle in Scotland with several (some not entirely office safe) pieces.  Humiliation was particularly amusing and may well strike a chord with some male readers.

His Holiness on Ron Knee’s Rants provides an insight into modern technology with voice activated stereo systems for cars – a must read for technophiles and those who enjoy black humour.

James Higham of Nourishing Obscurity has a thoughtful piece on his perception of the credit-crunch.

“With all the focus on the idiot in Alaska, we’ve forgotten what truly matters around here: The idiots in Florida” Quizlaw has the story.

The Capitalists@Work blog is bang on the money – and foretold of the XL crash.  If you are interested in The City – this blog is well worth a bookmark.  They also cover the possibility that Lehmans, a major bank, may go down.

John Bolch over at Family Lore has a trio of interesting law related stories in “Bizarre, Bad and Ironic”. John notes: Finally, Relate is celebrating its seventieth birthday this month. For a brief history of the organisation, see this page on their website – I particularly liked the irony of the picture of former patron Princess Diana outside a Relate office.

And so… to the world of the Bloviators

The art of The Bloviator knows no bounds, nor modesty. The political party conference season is underway.  Guido Fawkes has an amusing picture of a Nick Clegg Q&A session.

RollonFriday.com reveals that Allen & Overy have had to publicly deny involvement in a Nigerian 419 scam. It seems that Nigerians are becoming more skilled in their use of the net to effect these scams and an email purporting to come from private client partner, Jennifer Chambers, went the rounds.  Clearly, some fools were taken in by this – despite the fact that these scams have been around for some time, forcing Allen & Overy to take action. In the same issue of RollonFriday.com it would appear that Freshfields lawyers are the best dressed according Esquire.  RollonFriday pricks any tendency to vanity with an amusing comment.

And finally…. a bit of mild politics…
With Gordon Brown puzzled by the lukewarm response to his plan to solve the energy crisis by telling us to close the curtains and buy draught excluders and David Cameron’s Tories barely distinguishable in policy terms from Labour, as yet, it is being suggested in hushed tones that the Lib-Dems, under the charismatically invisible Nick Clegg, may well be taking on the ‘King Maker’ role. I know I may have overdone the juice this weekend, but I had to ask a passing NHS A&E team for oxygen when I read this over breakfast at the Mona Lisa cafe in Chelsea this morning. Nick Clegg is, according to The Indie, convinced that there will be a hung parliament.  Time to get out the old speech of ‘wee David Steele’ and say to the faithful… ‘Go home and prepare for government’ ?  Gawd bless ’em.

Well there we are…. another life in the week on Das Boot.  I’m orf for some more juice.

BREAKING NEWS 20.26 hours from The Ed of Blawg Review…..  The School of Life

And… from Dan Hull of What About Clients? | What About Paris? ….. ” WANTED STILL: Of counsel for growing, innovative Pennsylvania-based boutique business law firm with branches in California and DC. You must have at least 8 years of highest level federal Exec. Branch experience, world-wide connections, Yale Law degree, one year at Oxford, own money and people skills. Crowd-pleaser. Must be able to sell anything to anyone. And be originally from Hope, Arkansas.”

Definitely worth a read!

Best regards, as always….

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