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Archive for September 29th, 2008

I didn’t have much to do tonight so I thought I would go on BBC News 24, waffle a bit, as BBC News 24 have been doing for much of the evening, and try out my new ‘George Osborne Serious’ look.

The US has rejected the $700 billion bail out. I just had to watch BBC News 24.  There was a lot of waffle on News 24 and hushed tones from the autocuties (male and female) and much watching of Dow Jones points falls and heavy breathing.

We had a cameo appearance from George Osborne, looking remarkably relaxed, saying that we needed to ensure that those in the UK earning £12,000 or £20,000 do not subsidise those earning bonuses of £2 million.  Osborne expressed the view, in a wonderfully languid, non-committal, confident, public school way, that Congress would need to reach agreement.  Then we were taken back to the hyperventilating newsreaders to watch some film showing someone standing around waiting to ring the bell to bring an end to trading at the ‘top of the hour’.

Cyclops came on to tell us that he was disappointed, looked serious for a while,  and then we were taken back to listen to some more American pundits.  The BBC cut the US commentator to take us over to David Cameron, looking ever more like the Pilsbury Doughboy, and Cameron, also trying out the new concerned bipartisanly serious look, said that he would work with the government….. and then, I am afraid… I had to check Rioja prices worldwide… and lost interest in what Cameron was saying.

I did flick back to hear that George Bush is disappointed…He said:  “The plan was big… because we have a big problem”….

I wasn’t asked to stay for very long by the BBC…. maybe they realised I shouldn’t really have been on TV tonight… a bit like that wonderful African taxi driver who was wheeled onto News 24 in error and ended up giving us an opinion on intellectual property and Apple.

I bid you goodnight. Gordon Brown is taking ‘decisive action’… and so am I taking ‘decisive action’.  I am going to drink some Rioja… decisively.

PS: Hank Paulson is looking cream krackered.

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Audio podcast: Charon Report (9) – from The Tory Conference

I report today from Britain’s second City, Birmingham – a city almost unknown outside of its own city limits – to report on the gathering of the Tory faithful.

For two years now Cameron and his band of merry Etonians have been able to sit back and watch as Labour digs itself deeper into the merde and enjoy a 20 point lead over Labour – albeit cut back to nine points after Brown’s speech last week.  Now, even The Sun (in an article written by the great spinmeister Alastair Campbell, is demanding that Cameron shows us the political money – and tells the 4 million + Sun readers what The Tories stand for and how they will run Britain.

As a warm up to the conference, Mayor Boris was able to repay Arnold Schwarzenegger’s insult  describing Boris as ‘fumbling” by telling the faithful “Thank you very much for that welcome. Much more generous than in 2006 when I was physically pelted with pork pies by the press corps or last year when my speaking style was criticised by Arnold Schwarzenegger….. And it was a low moment, my friends, to have my speaking style denounced by a monosyllabic Austrian cyborg.”

David Cameron, concerned about recent Tatler photographs showing a group of young ‘potential’ MPs in designer clothes is reported in The Sun as saying  “Am I completely happy with all that? The Conservative Party has got to demonstrate that it is deadly serious about not being complacent.”

And William Hague has decided that he is like Bruce Willis. The Sun reports “The ex-Tory leader said he could double for the Die Hard actor as he said the Conservatives would be “tougher” on criminals. But not to be outdone … apparently… David Cameron had been likened to a “young John Wayne” in a poll by the Sunday Telegraph yesterday.

So…. so far, nothing of any substance from the Tories… but George Osborne… according to The Telegraph will say (and may already have said, but I was not listening attentively enough as my eye was caught by my picture looming over Osborne in the conference hall) quite a bit.

Mr Osborne, the shadow chancellor, will blame Labour for encouraging people to run up “more than a trillion pounds” of debt, without pausing to consider what would happen when credit dried up. He will vow that the Tories “will make sure that this mess never happens again….  Mr Osborne will warn that “the party is over” and promise to end the country’s “dependence on debt”.

That is all for this first report from Birmingham.

I won’t however, be going to the Lap Dancing Club in Birmgham featured on Guido Fawkes’ blog – a banner over the front door proclaiming” the ROCKET CLUB welcomes the Tories.  There’s nothing conservative about us”.

This is Charon, about to nip off and have a balti, from Birmingham.

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Audio podcast: Charon Report (9) – from The Tory Conference

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28 September: Daily Legal News and podcast

Daily Legal News and podcast up on Insitelaw

Also: Free one hour CPD online course on offer from CPD Channel. See Insitelaw magazine for details

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