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Archive for October 15th, 2008

It is embarrassing for the legal process in this country that a woman has to take the ashes of her dead son to a Magistrates’ Court to prove that he could not have committed a minor administrative offence. The Daily Mail reports: “Grieving mother brings son’s ashes to court after the DVLA insist on prosecuting him TWO YEARS after he died.”

Not content with the plan to monitor all our emails, skype and other VOIP calls, visits to internet sites and telephone calls, the government seems now to want to deploy airport style scanners capable of showing our naked bodies.  The good news is – the government will blur our faces (to cover the eventuality that when they lose all this data as is almost inevitable, no-one will be recognisable.  The bad news is that they won’t be blurring genitalia.)

The Daily Mail has the story: “Cheryl Johnson, general manager of the Office of Transport Security, said:’ It will show the private parts of people, but what we’ve decided is that we’re not going to blur those out, because it severely limits the detection  capabilities.”

It looks as if the hyperventilators will be back on our TV screens.  Shares fell through the floor.  Banks may be sorted, but now the biger problem is, of course, the recession – and investors are moving out.  BBC It won’t be long, some say, before house prices face a further 15-20% fall and Insurance companies need bailing out.

And… we can’t even afford a Hamlet cigar in a public place to soothe our furrowed brows….  Ah well.  Back to the future.

And finally….. a thought from the world of finance and economics – Bearwatch:Bear market rallies… where pros sell to amateurs who then panic, allowing pros to pick up at an even lower price.”

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There is some good news: “A drunk pony was rescued from a swimming pool after gorging on fermented apples and falling into the water. The pony, called Fat Boy, broke in to Sarah Penhaligon’s garden in Newquay, Cornwall, to get to the fruit, which had fallen from trees.He ate so many apples that he became confused.”

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The magic circle and other top firms are raking it in in the wake of the collapse of the financial sector – so I decided to spend a bit of time over lunch looking at the burning issues of the day occupying lawyers other than financial stuff and related litigation.

First up.. we have a petition to pardon witches.

Unbelievable though it may be, Minister of Justice Jack Straw is going to have his time wasted by Emma Angel, from the Angel family who run fancy dress and film industry prop supplies. She wants witches executed some years ago to be pardoned.  All perfectly laudable I suppose – but I suspect that Mr Straw’s time could be better employed.  The Telegraph reports on this nonsense: The campaign aims to make people realise that witches never really existed, and the fears of the past – such as criticism of Hallowe’en as a sinister celebration of the occult – deserve no place in the present. The petition, officially launched tomorrow, will be presented to the Ministry of Justice and its Scottish counterpart on Hallowe’en. If you too want to waste your time and that of Mr Straw – www.pardonthewitches.com is the place to go.

One hopes, at the very least, that some lawyer will be briefed to act on the petition.

While we are on this topic, I came across this on YouTube: Sarah Palin gets protection from witches.

At last… something vaguely resembling the application of common sense
The Telegraph reports: “Criminals are being allowed to advise the police on how to carry out investigations into murders, terrorist attacks and rapes under guidelines from top police chiefs.”

And now for a bit more F***wittery… “A vodka maker is suing a radio station over its use of the name ‘absolute’. Virgin Radio was recently renamed Absolute Radio, but V&S Vin & Spirit, which is behind vodka brand Absolut, claims that the use of the name is a trade mark violation.” It is getting very tiresome when greedy, rapacious, commercial organisations want to Trade Mark words from language.  Our language should belong to all.

OUT-LAW has the story: “We think the two are completely different, ours is a music and entertainment brand, theirs is a vodka drinks brand, and we are confident that our listeners recognise the difference between the two, as would Absolut’s drinkers,” said the Absolute Radio spokeswoman.”

I suppose that it is just possible that someone off their tits with Absolut Vodka or,indeed, any booze could mistake the difference between a Vodka and a radio station.  One would have through the likelihood of this happening to be statistically ‘insignificant’.  Still… all good work for lawyers…. so….. bon chance is what I say on that score to the lawyers involved…. way to go!.

Perhaps we should nip off to RBS, get a loan and  start making C**t Vodka and trademark the word C**t?.. It is important to note the use of asterisks – for one would not wish to deprive the English speaking world of using the full word by trade marking it.

Even more irritatingly annoying is that V&S Vin & Spirit, the people who make Absolut Vodka and who are bringing this action,  have a website which requires one to input date of birth – as only those over 21 can enter… how wonderfully socially responsible. As they did not have the Jurassic period covered I was not able to gain entry.  I shall make a point of never buying Absolut Vodka again … mind you, if we get an RBS or HBOS loan, we won’t have to… we’ll be able to get orf our heads on our own vodka.

DISCLAIMER

Before you think about reading this post, please seriously consider the environment.
Charon QC is a figment of a febrile imagination and has actively supported professionals to achieve their aspirations for over 30 years. This message, its contents and any attachments are private, confidential and may contain information that is subject to copyright…. but I’m quite happy for you to read it so long as you don’t act on it.  I’m liable for absolutely nothing, should you decide, after reading it, to go binge drinking and commit social atrocities in your local town centre.

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Daily Legal news up – podcast to follow later this morning

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