Archive for March 15th, 2009

Dear Reader,

At a time when the government is pouring millions of pounds into entirely pointless activities like swimming fast for a couple of hundred metres in heated pools, cycling faster and faster with funny hats on around an indoor arena, or encouraging people to see how high and how far they can jump… or even hop, skip and then jump… and our England cricket team, stuffed to the gunnels with sacked England Captains snatching draws from the very jaws of victory  – the government is hampering the activities of the true sportsmen and women of England – the binge drinkers.

Britain leads the world at binge drinking but we cannot afford to be complacent. The Swedes, the Germans, the Russians are catching us up fast. At one stage Britain led the world in serial smoking, but a group of professional busybodies  declared a war on terror and we surrendered in droves; a pitiful, ragged, army of smokers reduced to huddling outside in all weathers to get our fix, leaving the dessicated anti-smoking lobby drinking half a shandy in now, increasingly, empty pubs.  Some pubs are terminally empty.  They have shut down in large numbers.

Now, Sir Liam Busybody, HM Chief Medical Officer, (The Independent reports) begins his crusade to stamp out drinking by proposing that the price of alcohol be doubled. Other medical and political busybodies are trying to deal with that other sport we excel at, only bettered by the Germans and Americans – FatBastardo – The Way of The Fat Bastard.  What are they all trying to do – build a master race that lives forever?

Anyway… be that as it may… tonight is not the time for me to remind you that our freedom to live our lives as we wish to is being eroded in so many ways;  some serious, others perhaps not so serious. So… moving on to other matters.

As my brother, Rex Charon MP,  is  huddled in a think tank at this very moment talking policy with other like minded future political masters, it is left to me to keep the political home fires burning by drawing your attention to some useful posts from the leading political bloggers.  I shall do so, of course, from the perspective of the surreal-politik rather than real-politik.

Guido Fawkes reports that “Brown is Bonkers” Meme Now Underpins the Tory Message and suggests that the Tories should ‘stoke it all the way to the next election’.  One doesn’t need to be ‘Mystic Charon’ to work out that the Tories are on a roll, but the Guido post is definitely worth a read.   Mayor Boris has a recipe for chutney, would you believe?.  Crikey!

My friend from many years ago, retired barrister (early retirement) The Fat Bigot, always has something worth reading and today he has this: “A little clear blue water : Today saw a potentially important step towards the next general election, which must be held within the next fifteen months. It seems quite a long time when you put it in months, but it will soon pass. What was witnessed today was a purely strategic move by David Cameron, the leader of the Conservatives, to put a clear dividing line between him as potential Prime Minister and poor Gordon.”

The Ranting Penguin has a post entirely in keeping with my postcard to you today… Hoon of The Day: “The name’s Dalziel, and I’ll have a large Highland Park. Forget the fucking water!”

The Devil’s Kitchen is on the money with a post by ‘The Filthy smoker’Calais here we come: “Sir Liam Donaldson: pasty, saggy-faced, fat-arsed c**t.”

I’m afraid I agree… and on that note... I’m orf to drink a few glasses of Tempranillo, prop up the Spanish economy and  wait for the Prince of Darkness to set Anglo-American relations back to the time of George III with Blawg Review 203… it is due on a website by Geeklawyer at midnight GMT… or thereabouts if he hasn’t trashed his office at home following a binge drinking session….

As at 22.18 GMT Geeklawyers blog URL is showing the following message:  error 404 – not found…  Oh no! You’re looking for something which just isn’t here!

But… I am reasonably confident the master of the late night spliff will have sorted it by the witching hour… Yes.. he managed to post Blawg Review #203… not office safe…. and, possibly a good thing, he managed to leave me out of it… that’s Geeklawyer… mead and all! He did manage to get the Hellfire Club in though .

Next week I shall try to write of more important matters – but I did do some serious stuff all last week with posts and podcasts  (below).

Best regards as always,


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Oyez … Oyez… let all those under The Queen’s Peace hear this…. That at midnight GMT this night the Prince of Darkness, @Geeklawyer, will unveil Blawg Review 203 and in so doing possibly set back Anglo-American relations two hundred or more years to the time of George III.

I have my Ingerland flag… a job lot left over from the European Championship when our dimwitted footballers failed to qualify because they were too busy farting around in nightclubs, modelling underwear, crashing expensive cars, roasting women and appearing in Hello magazine.  I shall hail the new dawn with Rioja… naturally.

Oyez… Oyez…

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