Archive for March 21st, 2009

In the name of the father… the son….

I see that my cousin Charon QC  has been busy having a go at His Holiness (infra). While I would not wish to provoke yet another schism in the church, especially after that rather embarrassing business over the British holocaust denying bishop,  it is not particularly helpful to the wider interests of those of us on…shall we say… the financial wing of the church… to have His Holiness calling on our wonderful friends who lead countries in Africa to stop engaging in well established principles of administration and  ‘best practice’ by asking them to stamp out corruption. Selling relics is so 15th century… now we offer a range of services, including Premier Platimum Absolution which covers pretty well every sin from corruption to mass genocide… for a fee, of course.

For many years the Church enjoyed power, prestige, influence, great wealth and the private pleasures of the flesh by preying on the superstition and lack of education of the people it sought to have power over.  King Henry VIII started the rot by getting rid of the Pope and grabbing the land and wealth owned by the Church under the wonderful euphemism of ‘Reformation’ and set up a model more convenient to his politico-legal needs to establish a dynasty. Now we share with our brethren in other faiths a world of converts much diminished by education and seek to convert the remaining ill educated peoples of the world to our ways.

We have had some success but the internet, the spread of television and people like Hitchens and Dawkins flogging their God Delusion books through Amazon and all good bookshops has made it much more difficult to pass the collection plate around on Sundays – although we are doing good trade in ‘Weddings in Church for the modern godless couple’, particularly in our more ‘historic’ churches and…. we have upped the stakes by doing wine tastings on Sunday mornings and slipping in a bit of absolution and a complimentary wafer  as our congregation sips the wine.

I am often asked if I believe in God.  I smile beningnly, raise my arms to the heavens and say ‘God is within us all’… which usually does the business.   Now, if you forgive me, I have matters to attend to… we are developing a package for governments that are running out of money to pay their police and armed forces.  We have a working title for it… ‘Operation Put the Fear of God back into your people’.

In the name of the  Father… the son….

Cardinal Charoni di Tempranillo

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Infallibility and a trip to London…

I was talking to John Bolch of Family Lore earlier today and in the course of the conversation, apropos of nothing in particular, he  asked me if I had heard the latest utterances of the man in Rome with the pointed white hat, God’s Banker, the Pope. I told him that I rarely, if ever, listen to or read the musings of the mumbo jumbo men.  John, who is a fellow rationalist and non-believer, told me that The Pope was telling Africa to stop using condoms and observed, drily, that the Pope seemed to be saying that while it is a pity 22 million africans are suffering from AIDS, catholic dogma was more important.  This prompted me to google *Pope* and see what happened.

Peter Brookes cartoon from The Times

Apparently his holiness, after being criticised for suggesting that the use of condoms could endanger public health and increase the spread of AIDS (which appears to go against the usual medical advice), decided that being Pope wasn’t quite enough to keep him busy and that he would go on Stars in your Eyes and be King Canute for the day by calling for Africa to stop being corrupt – an equally pointless call to arms for those of a dictatorial and presidential disposition in this beautiful but troubled continent.

It is just as well the Pope can plead infallibility because if he was a doctor and gave such advice to a developing nation he would, I suspect, be open to litigation for professional negligence.  But there we are… moving swiftly on…

Yesterday I escaped from websites, blogs, podcasts and the like to make a State visit to London. I had planned to go up to meet a friend at 6.30 but…  The Prince of Darkness, Geeklawyer, called me from oop North where he had been giving of his expertise, to ask me if I fancied a quick drink or two at 2.00 pm. The Pope being  a catholic I accepted, showered, shaved (but leaving the tache intact), and made my way to The Lamb in Lamb’s Conduit Street.  We stood outside in the warm spring sunshine and drank wine.  Geeklawyer had cider, in fact…. about seven large glasses of the stuff at which point he decided we should do a podcast.  He produced his Google phone and hey presto… instant pile of recorded nonsense.  I shall post link when he gets round to posting it on his blog.

Being of the view that it would be inelegant to meet my friend at 6.30 pm ‘roaring on arrival’, my lunchtime consumption was moderate.  After a very enjoyable couple of hours nattering about law, philosophy and life I made my way back to ‘East of London’. A chav on the train was shouting a converstaion at his mates on his mobile.  His command of English was limited by he certainly gave the old anglo-saxon a bit of an outing.  He did not appear to grasp the concept that microphones on mobiles are capable of transmitting sound most effectively to people at the other end even if they are 50 miles away or more.

However… it appears that temporal lords may not be infallible

The Times reports that “Lord Myners knew about massive pension payout for disgraced banker.”   The Times notes… “Sir Tom MCKillop (Chairman RBS)  is understood to dispute what Lord Myners told the committee when he said that he was not informed about the size of Sir Fred’s pension pot during negotiations last October over the Government’s rescue package for the bank….In fact, according to Sir Tom, Lord Myners was told exactly how much the pension was worth”

Perhaps Lord Myners needs to put a condom over his head to protect himself from his own mouth and what comes out of it?

But the world of showbiz shows us how fallibility can be fun… The Sun reports:

KATE MOSS’s epic week on the thrash has finally caught up with her.

“The supermodel lost it when she was forced to queue for the loos at London hotspot Volstead and ended up arguing with staff. A source said: “She barged into the ladies and when she realised there were no cubicles free she starting kicking one of the doors, shouting: ‘Hurry up or I’ll kick the f***ing door down.”

Political infallibility

Ian Parker-Jospeh, leader of the Libertarian Party UK has a post today illustrating the infallibility of politicans.. or rather how infallibility can be achieved by not giving people an opportunity to take part in the decision making process.  Ian P-J reports… “The ex-mayor of London who lost his position largely through his support for the congestion charge in the capital has said the people of Bristol should not be given a say on their cities bid to introduce a charge. Former London Mayor Ken Livingstone says it would be pointless to have a referendum on congestion charging in Bristol.”

I enjoyed the bit in Ian’s  blog post… “Commenting on the position of being a directly elected Mayor he said: “I could do exactly what I wanted to do.”

I did a podcast with Ian Parker-Joseph fairly recently.  f you wish to listen to his thoughts on Liberty – listen here

And on that note… the sun is shining and I have some liquid sunshine to get stuck into… a piu tarde.

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