Archive for October 6th, 2009

I bring news from the Tory Conference. For some of you, the news I bring will be welcome… for those of you planning a career at the BBC as a public servant, or, indeed… as a public servant in another sector… this is time for you to get back behind the sofa because the Daleks are definitely coming to stuff you.

I listened with interest to George Osborne’s speech as I multi-tasked my way through the day –  smoking, drinking tea, doing a client project and a spot of writing –  and was delighted to hear Osborne say that no-one would be allowed to earn more than the Prime Minister if they work in the public sector (without Osborne’s express permission) and that the maximum  pension drawing per annum for public servants would be capped at £50,000.  Robert Peston blathered on about ‘grandfathering – confusing so many people who read his blog on the BBC that the BBC had to explain what ‘grandfathering’ is….. and made the perfectly reasonable point that this could lead to unintentionally hilarious consequences where a new executive working at top level in The Royal Mail, the BBC and a host of other public sector organisations, would be earning well below the earnings of other executives below them in the corporate ladder.  In fact… being honest and trying to be objective – a fine idea in theory…. but  a bit of a scrambled egg of an idea in practice?

Grandfathering by the way… seems to means that Buggins and Muggins, already in post, will still be able to trouser their vast inflated salaries but new people coming in won’t be.  Osborne also signalled his intention to reduce government and MP salaries by 5% and establish a pay freeze.  Bankers are to be given a right royal Bullingdon Club kicking if they overdo the bonuses and ‘We’re all in it together” if we want marmalade at breakfast in a few years time.  CUT< CUT< CUT< CUT…. all good stuff to excite Basildon Man, those of a vapid disposition who read The Sun and do what The Sun tells them to do  and at least Osborne did give the political darlings and buffers  from Surrey et al their first conference orgasm in over 12 years…. although some Tories may think it more of a case of “F*ck me, George…. F*ck me….. Bash the rich…I like it when you talk dirty… when you treat me mean!.”

But enough of that…. far more entertaining was an excellent interview between two of Britain’s greatest political media icons….. Paxo interviews Boris.  It really is good and if you have not seen it… you may wish to.  Despite being a slighly surreal Labour voter who (a) doesn’t approve of the PM (b) Not too keen on some of the fuckpiggery which goes on in the name of ‘political correctness’ (c) is appalled by Labour’s record on the erosion of civil liberties in the last 12 years and (d) does not wish Blair to be President of Europe – I did vote for Boris to be Mayor voting Tory for the only time in my life  – BUT I shall continue to fly the red flag down at Charon Hall….and go down drinking the King of Spain’s best Rioja if we do, in fact, lose the next election/.  It is still an election the Tories can lose because it seems, at the moment that the Tories won’t actually WIN, they will take power because Labour loses it.

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In an astonishing development, our political masters have come up with the ultimate absurdity in a vain attempt to control crime and turn this once proud nation into a nation of snouts, narcs and grasses. I checked the date.  it is not All fool’s Day.
The Times reports…

Crimespotting: the new way to make money on the Internet

Britain, already one of the most snooped-upon nations on Earth, is about to become a nation of snoopers. A network of citizen crimewatchers will be given the chance of winning up to £1,000 by monitoring CCTV security cameras over the internet.

The cameras’ owners will pay a fee to have users watch the footage. The scheme, Internet Eyes, is being promoted as a game and is expected to go “live” next month with a test run in Stratford-upon-Avon. Subscribers will be able to register free and will be given up to four cameras to monitor. Eventually the consortium behind the idea hopes to have internet users around the world focused on Britain’s 4.2 million security cameras, waiting to see and report a crime in return for cash prizes.

This latest bit of half-baked fuckpiggery is just too absurd for serious comment – but…. I have a horrible feeling people will rush to hire the CCTV cameras and middle minded politicians with less sense than a drunken parrot with a bazooka will applaud the idea as ’empowering for the people of Britain’ and make statements like….  ‘It is time we took back our streets’ blah blah blah.

I shall, of course, be applying to hire the CCTV cameras in Chancery Lane and Fleet Street so I can keep an eye on the activities of our learned friends….

*Think* for today

From the same Times article: “Britain is one of the world’s most monitored societies, with one camera per fourteen people. It has 20 per cent of the world’s CCTV cameras, but only one per cent of the global population.”

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Three mute Tories…. see how they run…

It would appear that prospective parliamentary candidates made fools of themselves on Newsnight last night when Michael Crick appeared to ask them about Tory policy on Europe.  Dizzy Thinks reported on his blog:

One of them just kept saying “no comment” as if he had been arrested with a pocketful of Columbian marching powder. Another suddenly pointed off into the distance and shouted “David! How are you” and marched off.

Alastair Campbell also took a sanguine view of this on his blog… “Newsnight gave us a tiny glimpse last night, which made me think this could be an election where local politics counts more than usual, and where candidates such as those we saw last night could become a serious liability”

Well…. that’s a good PR start for the Tories…. let’s see how they run when the interviewers start asking the really difficult questions to Osborne et al about financial policy… could be absolutely fascinating to see if there are ‘any’ policies.

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