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Archive for October 9th, 2009

Postcard from “Le Manoir aux Charon”

Since being reunited with my furniture and, more importantly, my cooking knives and kit some weeks ago  I have started to get back into the cooking lark.  I have been watching  Masterchef, of course, where four chefs get a chance to make fools of themselves on a skill test before being ‘allowed’ to cook for Michel Roux Jnr – 0ne of only a handful of two star Michelin chefs in the country.  I have, as it happens, in my day had the pleasure of eating food cooked by Albert, Michel and Michel Roux Jnr.  Clearly, they can cook!

I have been most concerned recently about the prawn population in the seas around Britain and believe, without any scientific evidence whatsoever, that prawns are serious contributors to global warming.  We know that cows farting in fields cause a great deal of global warming.  The role of prawns, however, is much more subtle.  Prawns are superb planners, the administrators of the sea…. a maritime Civil  Service if you like.  They organise the cows, placing them strategically around our country in fields, so that farting by these cows is  available to all the peoples of this isle.

I have, therefore, taken it upon myself to rid the seas of Britain of prawns and cook them in a delicious sauce of Thai Nam Pla fish ‘jus’, fresh red chilli (sometimes green chilli) fresh ginger, crushed garlic, a touch of dark soy, a splash of Chinese rice wine (or sherry if I have a local Vicar coming over to hear my thoughts on atheism) served with thinly sliced mange tous, green or red peppers and spring onions on a bed of twice washed basmati rice.

For these efforts I awarded myself my first Michelin star. Encouraged that I did not need to trouble NHS Direct with gastric problems, I ventured on to broaden my range to porc au cidre, pollo supremo, lamb glazed with honey and rosemary and garlic.  This resulted in my feeling able to award myself another Michelin star… and today, I am pleased to report that a perfectly cooked tart au citron secured my third self awarded Michelin star.  I am now able to watch Masterchef with the critical eye of one of only a handful of chefs who have awarded themselves three Michelin stars.  I shall not, of course, stop here.  I am going for a total of 15 Michelin stars…. before the doctors from NHS Direct track me down.

Le Menu degustation 9 Octobre 2009

I am pleased to report that Chef Michel Charon is dining for his pleasure tonight

Chilled grappa and lemon sorbet

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Prawns au Charon

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Tarte au Citron

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Rioja will be taken, followed by chilled grappa shots

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