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Archive for November 15th, 2009

Dear Reader,

I write this weekend from Norfolk… metaphorically speaking… the seat of Sir Jeremy Bagge of  Stradsett Hall, self appointed leader of the Taliban Turnips – the greatest foe the slick new Tories led by David Cameron have yet had to face.  All will be made clear later.

I have decided, this week, to devote all of my weekly postcard to The Tories… one must, after all, be even handed.

The Tories are now enjoying the patronage of The Sun – a leading British newspaper unique in modern Britain –  with the ability to change political conviction, political editorial integrity and affiliation at the flick of a switch…. the switch, of course, being controlled by Murdoch. Unfortunately, The Sun rather ballsed things up with the attack on Gordon Brown for writing a letter with spelling mistakes in it to Mrs Janes – ironically getting Mrs Janes’ name wrong themselves on their own website. The Daily Mirror retaliated with a picture of David Cameron paying his respects.  The Daily Mirror accused Cameron of bad taste in taking his own photographer to record the event (I got this picture from the Conservative  Party’s fotostream) and trading on Remembrance and the many things this means to the many people in Britain who choose to pay respect to the Glorious Dead and the living who fight wars in our name to this day. I’m not sure that retaliation of this nature is that helpful, frankly.

There is a wonderful story in The Telegraph (14th November 2009): Tory rebel tries to remove Elizabeth Truss as safe seat candidate

The self-appointed leader of a group of Tory rebels will on Monday try to have ‘A list’ choice Elizabeth Truss removed as a candidate after revelations of her extra-marital affair. But Sir Jeremy Bagge says he has ‘got nothing against women’.”

The elegant Stradsett Hall sits beside a lake of gently gliding swans. But the tranquillity of this 1,000 acre Norfolk estate could not be more deceptive.

For this is the home of Sir Jeremy Bagge, the self-appointed leader of a group of Tory rebels who are proving the most intractable enemy David Cameron has yet had to do battle with. Nicknamed the Turnip Taliban, these are the traditionalists who reject their leader’s modernising agenda and are flexing their muscles ahead of a crucial meeting to decide the fate of the beleaguered “A list” candidate Elizabeth Truss.

The story is both interesting and amusing.  Cameron, no doubt, is concerned about it because it reveals to the people of Britain that there are still some wonderfully eccentric people living well away from Westminster who disagree with him, who are Old Conservative and whose views may not go down at all well with the Labour voters Cameron is trying to seduce, let alone the slick new Tories of Eton, The City, Notting Hill and Soho….

I particularly liked the idea of Sir Jeremy Bagge finding a Turban (I have tried to picture what he might look like wearing a Taliban Turban above) in his ‘hice’ and wandering about the estate wearing it.

The Telegraph reports:

Explaining his hostility to Ms Truss, who he initially supported, he said: “She was the best there was on the day.

“I was then very disappointed to hear that there was a skeleton in the cupboard. I’m not judging her on her past, it is the fact that Central Office did not disclose to us that there was a skeleton. When I rang up HQ they said you should have Googled her. I don’t have time to Google. We were given a briefing sheet and it wasn’t on there.”

But underneath this perfectly straight explanation lie simmering tensions. It is obvious that grass roots activists have been reaching boiling point for some time over the issue of Mr Cameron imposing his preferred candidates on them.

“I personally feel that Central Office are dictatorial. They have shoehorned us, they have deceived us, they have betrayed us.” Sir Jeremy pauses before declaring: “I think they need a boot up the backside, a b—– good kick to wake them up, to be perfectly honest.”

The Telegraph, pleased with its new found investigative skills following the long running and hyperventilating tour de farce on the MP expenses scandal…asked…

Dictatorial methods aside, however, the question still arises, what is wrong with a list full of women? Sir Jeremy repeatedly says he has nothing against women.

“Sorry, no, I have never said I’m anti-women. I have got absolutely nothing against women.

“Who cooks my lunch? Who cooks my dinner? How did my wonderful three children appear? Women, you can’t do without them. My god, take my wife.”

What does she do for a living? “What does she do? She looks after me. Looks after the children. Runs the house.”

I am convinced that the next election is going to be won or lost on the playing fields of Eton…. but it is good to see that there is Old Eton and New Eton.  Sir Jeremy Bagge, of course, was educated at Eton… where else?

Deeply Dippy
In a rather bizarre postscript to all of this…. (I happened to Google Sir Jeremy Bagge and Eton – and it threw up the story from the BBC) …. Sir Jeremy Bagge was ‘guardian’ to Crown Prince Dipendra, who is believed to have shot members of his family (Wiping out most of the Nepalese Royal Family)  before turning his gun on himself and who studied at Eton for three years.
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I particularly enjoyed the comment of the Provost of Eton on hearing that a former Etonian had commited a  mass murder…

“He was a very popular boy and was also liked by all his teachers.”

Eton has always been at the forefront of British interest…. and, it would seem… it still is.  There are believed to be quite a few Old Etonians in the Shadow  Cabinet.  Cameron, himself an Old Etonian,  seems to have two Old Etonians who could be just a bit more than a pain in the arse… if you will forgive the metaphor…. we must not forget Mayor Boris…. for he could well be a political Blofeld who wins the day eventually against the slick new James Bond of the political firmament.

As I had no booze at all last night – not entirely surprising after a rather long 15 hour lunch on Friday which ended at 3.00 am on Saturday morning… I’m orf…. as we say down on the Medway… to have a glass or two of Rioja.

Best as always

Charon

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