Archive for May 22nd, 2010

Taking breakfast after an extremely amusing dinner last night with my ex, I purchased The Times, The Independent and The Sun at the cafe in Battersea Square and settled down to read.  Clarkson in The Sun is usually good value and today his thoughts on the Olympics made me laugh out loud.  Missing a trick by not calling it The Paralytic Olympics, he suggested that as we have no money and our national sport is not football, but binge-drinking, we should convert the 2012 Olympics into a Drunken Olympics.  Instead of criticising young people (and not so young people like me and many I know) in town centres on a Friday and Saturday evening  for excessive drinking, we would be able to applaud them for their diligence in training for their special event.  Clarkson mused on the amusement to be had from officials running for cover during the Drunken javelin event, people falling out of boats in the rowing and archers with arrows stuck in their legs. It would, Clarkson wrote, restore our worldwide reputation for a sense of humour and if the audience entered into the spirit of things by doing some amateur binge-drinking,  we would not notice that the opening ceremony was lit only  by a 40 watt bulb and inspired by a brass band from Yorkshire.

I have to say, that I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in the Olympics. The logo is terrible and the new mascots,  to my eye – because I am not five – are ludicrous and deserve the pillorying they are getting.  I had a go at my own Olympic mascot the other day.

As I have observed on many occasions – I think they should stop all this drug testing nonsense (they’ll never win).  I would pay good money to see a man jump 70ft into the air or run 100 metres in 3.5 seconds.

And so… to a remarkable story about a barrister…

A barrister in a £33million race row who waged a campaign of harassment against her former boyfriend was yesterday ordered to pay £1,000 compensation to his new love interest. Dr Aisha Bijlani, 43, bombarded her ex-boyfriend with abusive emails and was hell-bent on destroying his life after he left her for a German model. But rejecting an appeal against her harassment convictions, Judge Peter Clarke QC ordered Bijlani to pay 28-year-old advertising model Nicola Koenig £1,000 for her troubles. Bijlani asked marketing executive Atul Sehgal, 41, whether his dead mother was a whore and told him he was a ‘pathetic lap dog’, ‘a*******’, ‘loser’ and an ‘impotent gay man’ who was a ‘failure in every way’, the court was told.

She also sent five abusive emails in four days to Ms Koenig, Mr Sehgal’s friend, telling her she was a ‘German Nazi prostitute’, a ‘cheap hooker’, a ‘working class trollop’ and a ‘flat-chested asexual freak’ with sweaty feet who should lick toilet bowls for a living. The judge said: ‘It is not only a remarkable communication to make to a complete stranger but, we’re bound to say, one a person who has been practising at the bar for 14 years must have been suffering from a significant degree of stress to invent.

Daily Mail

I am familiar with this story, having reported on it at the time… but it is Saturday Rive Gaucheso no harm in digging it up again for your edification and delight?

A married judge and his blonde legal clerk lover faced an extraordinary £33million claim by an Asian barrister who says she was the victim of racial discrimination. At an employment tribunal, Aisha Bijlani also accused the married clerk, Lizzie Wiseman, of having a second extra-marital affair with another leading QC. And she claimed she was viewed in her legal chambers as nothing more than an ‘educated wog’.

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