Archive for June 13th, 2010



1. Wind Energy: It is unfortunate that none of our all male partnership is married to Nick Clegg or, indeed, any member of the Coalition largely all male Cabinet.  I can report that Miriam González Durántez, wife of the Deputy Prime Minister, Nick Clegg, has been appointed to join a leading wind-farm company.  There is, obviously, no connection between her being wife of the Deputy Prime Minister and the, reportedly, lucrative appointment with Acciona.  I was talking to a friendly MP the other day and he observed that Miriam González Durántez is into wind in a big way and living with Nick Clegg gives her an opportunity to study the many different and subtle qualities of wind on a daily basis – which, no doubt, is of considerable, but purely coincidental and ‘unintended consequentially’,  value to Acciona.

Be that as it may – wind energy is the future, not in terms of the energy it generates (25% operational value at best, experts say), but in terms of the work which it will provide for lawyers. Iain Dale, writing in his affluential blog today makes a compelling case for tearing down all the wind farms and he quotes Andrew Gilligan’s seminal article on the issue in the Telegraph.   Those who wish to erect wind farms – and they are legion and are being encouraged by wish-washy tree huggery of the best kind by the Lib-Dem members of the coalition –  will need highly complex legal advice.  There are many and varied issues – environment, planning permission, European Law, tax write-offs. I do not need to labour the point.

1.2. Those who wish to tear down wind farms – and they are legion – will also need legal advice. There are many and varied issues – environment, planning permission, European Law, tax write-offs. I do not need to labour the point.

1.3.  I have deployed three associates to examine this issue and to report back. If we need to do a lateral hire, I am sure that it will not be an insurmountable difficulty to find a partner at a competitor firm of sufficient standing to meet our world leading standard of venality and personal greed.

2. The Labour Leadership contest: I have advised The Partners on this issue using classic SWOT analysis. It seems that Diane Abbot has been fed into the mix by ‘ways and means’ which Partners of this firm will approve and, indeed, practice regularly when dissimulating with our own employees. I refer Partners to the many revisions of the Employees Handbook in the last three months, all of which, by inclusion of an expertly drafted provision,  are designed to take effect and be incorporated into the contract (and agreed to)  as if they had been present in the contract when the employee was originally engaged. Freedom of Contract is a wonderful concept.  On this, I am sure we are all agreed. There is little prospect of Diane Abbot becoming the next Leader of the Labour Party.  If there was, I am fairly sure that Mr Fawkes would be mounting a ‘Diane Abbot for Leader’ campaign.  (See below – or as I prefer, infra)

2.1 The difficulty we face is that if David Miliband is elected as Leader of the Labour Party there is every chance that Labour will be able to re-form under sensible, intelligent, and thoughtful leadership and be able to present to the country an entirely credible alternative government.  This would not be in the short to medium term interest of The Partners.  We must do all that we can to ensure that Britain continues to be governed by a curious mixture of members of The Genghis Khan Appreciation Society and Tree Huggers Anonymous.

2.1  Fortunately, assistance is available at absolutely no cost to ourselves: Guido Fawkes has started a ‘Vote for Ed Balls for Leader’ campaign.  I have every confidence, given his significant readership figures – some of which is made up of  Tourettes sufferers – that efforts on our part to promote this are simply redundant. I am, of course, aware of the ‘tastes and interests’ of all The Partners.  Some of our members may find the picture on Mr Fawkes’ blog post of particular interest.  Because of the curious voting methods of The Labour Party, the first past the post does not usually win.  It is, more often than not, the second or third placed candidate who ends up winning the coveted post of ‘Beloved Leader’. I am, therefore, confident, that we shall have no effective Opposition for some time to come yet, and certainly not until the Autumn.

2.2  This will allow Danny Alexander to demonstrate beyond peradventure that he should have paid more attention to his economics studies and he may well be replaced. Theresa May is already struggling with the Gary Mackinnon case.  One minute the government is saying that nothing can be done.  Today the government is saying that Cameron can intercede.  This gives them the worst of all worlds, of course.  Do nothing and they will be seen as ineffective and pusillanimous – especially after Clegg stood shoulder to shoulder with the Asperger sufferer’s Mother and said it was simply not good enough that Alan Johnson could do nothing to stop the planned extradition.  If Cameron intercedes it risks the possibility that Obama will kick off  and start calling ‘Bungling Petroelum’, ‘British Petroleum’ again.  My assessment is that The Partners will win either way.

2.3 Further to my last briefing memorandum, The Firm will be proud owners of BP shares again very soon and a decent return on our recent naked short selling.

Dr Erasmus Copernicus Strangelove
Partner and Director of Education, Muttley Dastardly LLP

Strength & Profits

Regular readers of Muttley Dastardly LLP briefings will be aware that there is no similarity whatsoever between Dr Strangelove of Muttley Dastardly LLP and the Dr  Strangelove of ‘Dr Strangelove’ the film.  It is pure coincidence that our Dr Strangelove looks like the Dr Strangelove character in the Dr Strangelove film. .

Readers coming across these posts from the internet should be advised that Muttley Dastardly LLP never gives any legal advice for free on their blog, or at all, and if you wish to get legal advice that works, pay for it.   We are very selective in the clients we take on.  If you are rich, we will take you on . If you are not fortunate enough to be sufficiently rich to seek our counsel – and those we hire in – please accept our condolences and  contact your local Law Society.

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