Summer is drawing to its usual conclusion and although I was in town briefly (I have to be careful of the number of days I visit Blighty these days being a non-dom tax avoider) I wasn’t able to meet up with you. Next time?
I see that the Pope is doing his solo tour tomorrow – hardly a sell out event – and that one of his Cardinal jonnies has described Britain as a third world country. The BBC reports him as saying “when you land at Heathrow you think at times you have landed in a Third World country”. Closer inspection reveals Cardinal Walter to be German born. Makes you wonder why his fellow countrymen in 1940 were so keen to have the place – but, on this the 70th anniversary of The Battle of Britain – they couldn’t hack it then and don’t seem to be able to hack it now. One wonders what goes on in the heads of these god squadders – and here we have a ‘head shed’, who one would have thought was a few steps up the scale from some of the unfortunate poor who look up to these chaps, talking nonsense. Mind you, he has a point about Britain being in the grip of secular atheism – long may that continue. God Save Richard Dawkins, as we shout each night at a bar on the Grand Corniche as a toast….God Save Richard Dawkins!
Moving on…. I see that Crow, who resembles a bouncer on a fag break more each day (I can’t remember where I read that description, but I liked it. It may have been on Twitter), is too busy to listen to the Governor of The Bank of England. I’ve heard of people taking revenge on bank managers, but that is, clearly, taking things a bit far. A number of us down here are doing a spot of spread betting on the number of strikes, days the strikes will be called, how many unions will come out in unison on a particular day…that sort of thing. Met a very nice chap from Pakistan who was seeking our advice as to the possibility that a Union could bowl a couple of no-balls and actually not call a strike after threatening to do so. Apparently his contacts in various cricket teams are not too keen to talk to him at the moment. Can’t see why. Much more fun watching a cricket match knowing that one can make £10,000 have predicted accurately that a no-ball will be bowled in the third ball of the fifth over and hilarious watching otherwise talented cricketers dropping catches, batting like prep school boys and generally trying not to give the game away… or…should I say… trying to give the game away. Do appreciate the point that this fixing of cricket games etc isn’t really cricket.
Talking of twitter, my old friend Lord Sugar is on Twitter, tweeting away. Making rather a good job of it, as it happens. The only problem is – because there are so many frauds about the place – and we have a fair number down here in Monaco, they say…. he can’t get anyone to believe him. I know you’ve done your bit to help, but a few of us down here are having bets on who he will appeal to verify that he is, indeed, Lord Sir Alan Sugar! @DuncanBannatyne must be getting fed up saying that it really is Lord Sugar! Never mind, he’ll get his blue Verified badge soon enough. You have to hand it to Sugar – he really does ride bicycles and rather well. A number of us are thinking of following him next time in a white limousine and bet on how many punctures he has, how many times people shout out “You’re Tired” as he rides by…that sort of thing.
I know you disapprove of my non-dom status, now that I have left Muttley Dastardly LLP as a full time partner, but even we were astonished that Sir Phillip Green, whose tax arrangements are most convenient to him and his family – and perfectly lawful, has been invited to advise the government on the cuts. Being a tax avoider isn’t exactly flavour of the month in Britain at the moment… and is hardly consistent with ideals of a Big Society – but, there we are.
Well… probably enough to be going on with. A number of us are placing bets on how many people attend various papal events, if he will be arrested by Richard Dawkins and Geoffrey Robertson QC and whether the Duke of Edinburgh will come out with a famous gaffe when The Pope meets him. I have a pony at 2/1 on the Duke asking him if he had any kids.
On that note….speak anon