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Archive for October 11th, 2010

Andrew Marr says bloggers are ‘inadequate, pimpled and single’

Guardian: BBC presenter tells Cheltenham Literary Festival that citizen journalists will never replace real news

Well.. what an amusing day on twitter following Andrew Marr’s ridiculous nonsense about bloggers….. Follow the Twitter Andrew Marr feed to get a view on the ridicule the greatest living British BBC journalist and fearless interviewer has been subjected to!

I don’t actually care what Andrew Marr thinks…. and I don’t live in a basement, my Mother is long dead, I am not bald, I don’t have pimples – but I do drink and I am single, through choice for the moment, and I do blawg…. and as Julius Caesmarr would have said… “Friends, Bloggers, Countrymen… lend me your ears… because I really do need some new ones after today.”

Not a great idea to piss off the entire blogosphere, Mr Marrvelous.  For my part… I couldn’t give a damn what you think of bloggers – hence my use of one of my F**kArt paintings for this story.  You won’t need a superinjunction this time, mate!

See @robinbogg who can usually be relied on… on twitter… to amuse! Read his blog post?

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A MESSAGE FROM DR ERASMUS STRANGELOVE
Partner and Director of Education, Muttley Dastardly LLP
Dear Prospective Applicants,

It is that time of year again.  You are back at university.  The long summer holidays are over.  Binge drinking in Cornwall is a long distant memory.  Your *Gap Yah* is finished and your parents are now able to get on with what is left of the rest of their lives knowing that you are safely on the treadmill called life.  Now you are back at your cash poor universities or are attending one of the shiny new, reassuringly expensive,  law schools doing your LPC.  If you haven’t already been snapped up by one of the big law firms,  sponsoring you, you are probably sick with worry about your future prospects – and, frankly, you have every reason to be.  We are not out of the bears shitting all over the credit crunch woods yet… Lord Browne is about to release his entirely predictable report to allow the Vice Chancellors to increase their fees, law firms are still reeling from  the credit crunch… well…some law firms are…we at Muttley Dastardly LLP are not..in fact, to be honest, we are rather enjoying it.

Over the next few weeks, on The Lawyer, Legal Week and LawCareers.net websites you will be able to find lots of shiny brochures to download from BIG law firms and BIG law schools – implausibly showing pictures of glossy potential lawyers smiling away….possibly even sitting on the grass…although why they should be sitting on the grass when they should be inside working is a matter of some surprise to *US* at Muttley Dastardly LLP.

There will be lots of pictures of young people in suits, carrying briefcases, looking busy and important. Our Psyops team has replicated the genre below…. we’ve gone for the lawyers happy on a beach look… (right).

OK… we talk straight… expensive… but straight at Muttley Dastardly LLP.  Listen up…. and, I cannot resist using that dreadful phrase so beloved of cliche ridden writers…and smell the coffee.

1.  The economy will improve

2. Law firms will recover

3. Universities will raise their fees – and so will the BIG law schools for you (although not for us!)

4.  The Legal profession is changing – read the journals and keep up to date.

5.  You have to get a 2.1 to even stand a chance of selection for a decent law school at LPC level and, being honest, a decent university if you are going to get into a City law firm or any major commercial firm.

6. Being really honest… you haven’t a chance of getting into Muttley Dastardly LLP unless you went to Oxbridge or a top Russell Group university – why would *WE* take second best?

7. Be realistic… City practice is not for everyone – there is a wonderful world of law out there for lawyers who don’t want to be rich beyond the dreams of avarice, who don’t want to be movers and shakers in the City and business world, who don’t want to rub shoulders with the likes of Duncan Genocide from The Dragon’s Den. [Good one, Harry & Paul] We don’t have a clue what these lawyers do… but hey.. there must be a Facebook group.. or Twitter hashtag… and you could always Google?!  FTW!…as, I believe, some say…..  LMFAO, ROFL  etc etc etc…..

8.  We will always be honest with you…. if we take you on as a trainee, you will be worked beyond the limits of The Human Rights Act, you will learn a great deal about *OUR* type of practice and if you don’t cut it… we will give you a black plastic bag to take your belongings away in and that’s it.

Good luck with your studies this year.  I look forward to hearing from you… if you think you are hard enough.

Dr Erasmus Strangelove

Strength & Profits

***

With thanks to Inksters Solicitors, Cellmark, OnlineWill.co.uk, BPP University College, David Phillips & Partners Solicitors, Wildy & Sons, Camps Solicitors accident claims

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Protect police from lawsuits, says Met chief

Guardian: Rights groups attack Sir Paul Stephenson’s plan to curb court action against officers

Chief Plod, quite possibly taking advantage of the climate of fear of cuts, appears to think that police officers should enjoy greater protection from being sued than ordinary people.  I could understand the idea if this was simply a matter of very minor infringements like hassle when stopped for speeding, or being given a bit of *verbal*  while the copper was on the beat (assuming they do that these days) – but this is a request from Chief Plod to The Home Secretary to make it more difficult to sue police for allegations of brutality or wrongful arrest.

The Guardian notes “Critics say the plans amount to an attempt by the police to put themselves beyond the rule of law and undermine constitutional safeguards against abuses of power. The Met’s chief says money is being wasted on speculative claims, with lawyers gaining large fees that would be better spent fighting crime.”

Solicitor Louise Christian denounced the suggestion: “It’s clearly an attempt by the police to escape the rule of law. When access to justice is denied, the principle of the rule of law is damaged. The rich and powerful can always go to court, it’s people without means who can’t.”

James Welch, legal director of the civil rights group Liberty, said: “The ability to challenge police misconduct in court is a vital constitutional safeguard against abuse of power. Under current rules, if you lose a case in the civil courts you can expect to be ordered to pay your successful opponent’s legal costs.

“A service bound to uphold the rule of law should not attempt to carve out an exception for itself.”

I agree – bizarre.  But *good* to see that modern policing still continues with the belief that the police service is a separate entity from the public they serve and is therefore entitled to ‘special treatment’.  God forbid that any government should agree with such a sentiment. It works both ways.  The Police service is entitled to fair treatment from the public it serves.

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