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Archive for November, 2013

My apologies to the creator of this pastiche – I can’t find the original tweet now to give credit.   I do, however, think the creator of the parody is right.

 

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My brother, Charon QC, incapacitated by falling backwards into a bath while shaving at the sink some months back – sustaining spinal injuries in a manner almost worthy of a Darwin Award – has asked me to write a blog post.

I don’t like to disappoint my brother, but I am otherwise engaged –  watching the dancing in Blackpool on Strictly Come Dancing in the hope of securing a position as a judge.  I am unlikely to secure a position as a judge in the law.  We do not feel the need to trouble academics with the burdens of judicial office in the England & Wales jurisdiction.

As it is highly unlikely that my brother actually read my last post on his blog – he may do so this time – I thought I would dig up my previous post…

And here it is…. a vignette from the history of our sceptred and, at times, bizarre island nation… 

Taking an evidence sourced approach  to blogging –  the new ‘fashion’:

This is  what happened only last night when I nearly died laughing.

Unfortunately, the issue is not as simple as I assert with that proposition.

I had not considered the possibility of ambulance chasers in my vicinity at the time of laughing at tweets.  Unfortunately, this Wikipedia entry, unedited by the new Tory Party co-Chairman Grant Shapps MP, is not that helpful in defining ‘tweet’.

I was laughing privately and not in a manner likely to worry the Director of Public Prosecutions (Even on a bad day at the office). No menacing laughter justifying a prosecution near Doncaster under s. 127 per theTwitter Joke Trial. Not even the hint of affray, riot, treason, or even  failing to kettle myself when asked to do so, in a group of two, by a police officer.   (See the CPS guidelines for public order offences – whether you intend to amuse yourself by committing same or not, as may be the case).

I was laughing alone.  I did not feel the need to seek asylum at the Ecuador Embassy in London.

Events got a bit out of hand…. the following extracts from official documents provided to The Home Office and other relevant bodies serve as a narrative.

STATEMENT:  FROM THE DECEASED – Professor R D Charon

1. I died. I am not, in fact, dead – as will be clear even to judges seeking an appearance in The Daily Mail  (Here and here)  –  cf: despite the death certificate issued by Dr X who has not yet been struck off. (Infra)

2. However – in support of my claim for PPI, whiplash injury, loss of consortium with myself and all other losses, as yet unquantifiable,  but which will almost certainly become clear by the time we get to court, I claim that I suffered nervous shock (without even a hint of novus actus interveniens in between)  after reading the death certificate (infra) which Dr X handed to me after clinically processing  my Centurion AMEX card on his portable electronic wealth modifying device (WMD).

3.  The doctor attended at my rooms in Bloomsbury, accompanied by a solicitor.  They happened to be passing – driving a Toyota Priapic hybrid car en route to a car crash nearby, when they heard my laughter and broke in on the off chance that I may need assistance.

EXHIBIT A
MEDICAL CERTIFICATE

Attended at a flat in Bloomsbury. The law professor was sitting in a chair at a desk. I was able to deduce that he was a law professor by his mode of dress.  He was wearing full academic regalia, including mortar board and red doctoral gown. The professor’s iMac computer indicated that his name was “@ProfRDCharon”.  This was apparent even without an on site autopsy. I was able to form this view by looking at his twitter history (infra)  – The professor’s  browser  revealed that he was, and certainly had been when alive, on twitter. Professor Charon was a ‘goner’.  Dead.   Died Laughing.  Definitely dead.  A solicitor who attended with me also took the view that the professor was dead after consulting an accident claims website to gain a ‘value priced’ billable view.

Signed
Dr X

[A] .  I observed Professor Charon at 9.58 pm.  He had been laughing. He was in his chair at his desk.  He wasn’t moving that much after I had to break in. He had not responded to a ‘Direct Message’ on twitter for four minutes before, save to type “hahaha….”
I concluded he was dead.
People can die of laughter. He died laughing.

[B]  In support of this I am able to certify  that the cause of death was laughing

As an after thought to the extraordinary evening I had last night when a doctor and a solicitor broke into my rooms in Bloomsbury, unasked, to  declare  me dead –  I was able to resume my life and took the opportunity to ‘google death by laughing’

I read this on a website“In the third century BC, Greek philosopher Chrysippus died of out-of-control laughter after he gave his donkey some wine, and then observed it pigging out on figs… Pietro Aretino (below), writer, raconteur, and the founder of “literary pornography,” is said to have died in 1556 of suffocation from laughing too much…

Read more on death by laughter on Wikiepedia…why not? – death by laughter is a bit over rated and didn’t work for me…..

AND… from the website, aforeto mentioned:

“More recently… On March 24th of 1975, Alex Mitchell, a 50-year-old bricklayer in Norfolk, England, kicked his bucket while howling with laughter over the “Kung Fu Capers” episode of his favorite TV show, “The Goodies.” The episode featured a kilt-clad Scotsman attacking a vicious-looking blood pudding with his bagpipes, and roundly trouncing it. After laughing uncontrollably for twenty-five minutes, Mitchell finally succumbed to heart failure on his sofa. His bereaved widow reportedly sent a letter to the producers of “The Goodies” in which she thanked them for making Mitchell’s final moments so enjoyable!”

While I am, of course, sympathetic to the last unfortunate demise – it is pleasing to see that The Goodies amused someone. I am still recovering from the trauma in childhood of watching same on television.

A most puzzling evening.  I continue, however, to live and I am grateful to my brother Charon QC for this opportunity to inform on this pleasing event in his blog.

BY Professor R.D. Charon LLB (Cantab), BCL, Ph.d,  FRSA
 – Emeritus Professor of Jurisprudence, University of The Rive Gauche, London Faculty, London
Author: “Legal Nihilism: Taking Rights Seriously, seriously”, Maninahat Press, 2009

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Vannin Capital

 

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Health and safety legislation in industrial workplaces

BY Roberts Jackson

Industrial injuries

According to statistics gathered by the Health and Safety Executive (detailed in their report), the number of major injuries sustained by construction employees has fallen by almost a third in comparison to five years ago. That said, with an alarming 1913 major injuries reported in 2012 – 39 of which were fatal – there are evidently still many risks present in construction and industry workplaces.

Employers are legally responsible for the health and safety of their employees. Given the dangers and hazards present in construction and industrial working environments, thorough risk assessments are absolutely fundamental to the minimisation of injuries, and should be a paramount priority of any construction employer.

Falls, slips and trips cause the majority of industrial injuries

Falls, slips and trips accounted for 56% of the major industrial injuries suffered by construction employees during 2012. There are a number of ways in which these sorts of injuries could be diminished, starting of course with personal protective equipment, but also by ensuring working areas are kept as tidy and uncluttered as possible, providing more cautionary signs (which are specific to the various hazards), and improving lighting conditions.

Industrial illness caused by exposure to asbestos

Occupational exposure to asbestos is one of the leading cause of industrial illness. When materials containing asbestos are disturbed, asbestos particles become airborne. That is where the danger lies: the inhalation of asbestos particles can cause serious long-term damage to the lungs and eventually cancer in some cases. According to HSE statistics, over 4700 people died in 2011 from various diseases and conditions caused by occupational exposure to asbestos.

Asbestosis

Asbestosis is a chronic inflammatory condition which affects lung tissue and is caused by the inhalation of asbestos fibres. In 2011 there were 178 deaths to which asbestosis was recorded as the underlying cause, whilst 2012 saw almost a thousand newly assessed cases of asbestosis.

Measures employers must take to prevent asbestos exposure

By law, it is the duty of those responsible for the management of non-domestic properties to establish whether or not there are materials containing asbestos on the premises. If there are, the amount of asbestos, its location(s) and its condition must be ascertained. Work on or removal of asbestos materials must be carried out by licenced asbestos contractors.

Materials containing asbestos were commonly used in construction and industry until the discovery of its toxicity, and it was finally banned entirely in 1999. This means, however, that asbestos is still common in the general environment, and must therefore continue to be considered a serious health hazard for those who work in construction and industrial environments.

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Health and safety legislation in industrial workplaces
BY Roberts Jackson

 

 

Industrial injuries

According to statistics gathered by the Health and Safety Executive (detailed in their report), the number of major injuries sustained by construction employees has fallen by almost a third in comparison to five years ago. That said, with an alarming 1913 major injuries reported in 2012 – 39 of which were fatal – there are evidently still many risks present in construction and industry workplaces.

Employers are legally responsible for the health and safety of their employees. Given the dangers and hazards present in construction and industrial working environments, thorough risk assessments are absolutely fundamental to the minimisation of injuries, and should be a paramount priority of any construction employer.

Falls, slips and trips cause the majority of industrial injuries

Falls, slips and trips accounted for 56% of the major industrial injuries suffered by construction employees during 2012. There are a number of ways in which these sorts of injuries could be diminished, starting of course with personal protective equipment, but also by ensuring working areas are kept as tidy and uncluttered as possible, providing more cautionary signs (which are specific to the various hazards), and improving lighting conditions.

Industrial illness caused by exposure to asbestos

Occupational exposure to asbestos is one of the leading cause of industrial illness. When materials containing asbestos are disturbed, asbestos particles become airborne. That is where the danger lies: the inhalation of asbestos particles can cause serious long-term damage to the lungs and eventually cancer in some cases. According to HSE statistics, over 4700 people died in 2011 from various diseases and conditions caused by occupational exposure to asbestos.

Asbestosis

Asbestosis is a chronic inflammatory condition which affects lung tissue and is caused by the inhalation of asbestos fibres. In 2011 there were 178 deaths to which asbestosis was recorded as the underlying cause, whilst 2012 saw almost a thousand newly assessed cases of asbestosis.

Measures employers must take to prevent asbestos exposure

By law, it is the duty of those responsible for the management of non-domestic properties to establish whether or not there are materials containing asbestos on the premises. If there are, the amount of asbestos, its location(s) and its condition must be ascertained. Work on or removal of asbestos materials must be carried out by licenced asbestos contractors.

Materials containing asbestos were commonly used in construction and industry until the discovery of its toxicity, and it was finally banned entirely in 1999. This means, however, that asbestos is still common in the general environment, and must therefore continue to be considered a serious health hazard for those who work in construction and industrial environments.

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I have always been happy to assist law firms and law schools by providing advert links on my online magazine  or guest posts etc on my blog – but I will not take any instructions from any advertiser.

The College of Law – now the University of Law –  was foolish in requiring me to get my tour dates “to be agreed and confirmed by the University of Law”.  I am resuming my tour soon now  that my spinal injuries are healing well. Thankfully, there are plenty of good law schools for me to visit.  I won’t be visiting The College / University of Law.

I do not need the approval of any advertiser/law school, law firm or service provider to do anything.  I have never been asked by ANY OTHER  advertiser to submit to their approval.  I won’t and I don’t.

The College / University of Law  cannot, now, advertise on any of my websites.  I am, unlike them in a recent sale, not for sale.

 

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