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By popular demand – the return of our very successful Banking course – 2 years CPD A Personal Christmas Statement to clients from Dr Erasmus Strangelove I was pleased to see, while casually reviewing CCTV footage of our associates workfloor on Christmas Day, that good legal work was being done.  It was pleasing to note […]

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UPDATE:  Diamond has resigned.  Marcus Agius has ‘unresigned’..or, should that be…’re-signed’ ? I just had to tweet… “My name is Marcus Agius, Commander of the Barclays, Chairman to a fraudulent bank.. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.”

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FROM THE OFFICE OF DR STRANGELOVE, SENIOR PARTNER, MUTTLEY DASTARDLY LLP To: All staff 21st May 2012 RE: SRA scrapping of trainee minimum wage and Government  ‘No fault Sackings’ proposals 1. The Partners met for a private lunch at Alan Ducasse’s rather fine restaurant at The Dorchester today to consider the implications of the scrapping […]

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PRESS RELEASE In just seven days Dr Erasmus Strangelove, senior partner of Muttley Dastardly LLP, will reveal Lawyerborg 2.0 – 20% paralegal 80% machine with no inbuilt soul issues. Dr Erasmus Strangelove said today in Dubai: “We believe that our new creation will transform the way legal services are delivered in the United Kingdom.  We […]

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The Partners of Muttley Dastardly LLP meet in closed session each Friday at 10.00 am.  Following the unfortunate departure from the firm of managing partner Matt Muttley in the summer of 2011, Dr Erasmus Strangelove has taken over the leadership of the firm as CEO and Senior Partner. A transcript of Dr Strangelove’s speech follows…. […]

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STATEMENT FROM THE DESK OF DR ERASMUS STRANGELOVE, CEO AND SENIOR PARTNER It is with deep regret, see above, that I announce the death of Matt Muttley.  I have known Matt for many years  Together, we built profits, capital reserves and tax efficient schemes only dreamed of in some law firms.  Matt Muttley, inspired by […]

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Eva Braun, Matt Muttley’s PA, elegantly dressed as always in a tailored black suit and high heels,  led a young man into the Partner’s Boardoom and seated him at the opposite end of the long boardroom table.  He had a brown paper bag over his head. Dr Erasmus Strangelove, Director of Psyops, Strategy and Education, […]

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Fridays, for me, are a strange mix of weekday and weekend.  I often find that I don’t get many responses to emails and when I call to speak to a client I am often told they are ‘working from home’.  As I don’t wish to be a ‘stalker’, I tend to leave the matter there […]

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EYES ONLY To: The Partners From: Dr Erasmus Strangelove, Partner, Director of Psyops, Strategy and Education RE: MONTHLY PSYOPS REPORT *** 1. “Many reasons for solicitors to start using social media” There are many reasons why we would encourage other solicitors to use social media.  I select but two: (a) Tie up of competitor human […]

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PRESS RELEASE (EMBARGOED UNTIL YOUR FEE PAYMENT CLEARS FOR VALUE) Hugo de Vertback, Partner and Head of Capital and Private Wealth, Muttley Dastardly LLP – The Vickers Report for Reform of the Banking Sector In the early morning of Monday 11th April, a group of hitherto unknown men and women – unknown outside City circles […]

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MEMORANDUM EYES ONLY To:  The Partners From: Dr Erasmus Strangelove, Director of Education, Strategy and Psyops RE: Retention of staff and human capital maximisation Gentlemen, 1. I am reviewing currently our human operational asset base for the purpose of refreshing the stock. This also ties in with an assessment of productivity of junior associate staff.  […]

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Dr Erasmus Strangelove, Partner and Director of Education, Strategy and Psyops at Muttley Dastardly LLP is interviewed by Just Go Direct’s Legal Brick Road…. do not fear… it was chargeable…. “Law is a business like any other these days. We have the knowledge. You have the money. You give us the money. We give you […]

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MEMORANDUM From:  Matt Muttley, managing partner To:  Partners and fee earners RE: MOST IMPORTANT – FEES – ENGAGEMENT LETTERS TO CLIENTS 1. Perusing The Law Society Gazette this morning,  I came across a report of the ‘utmost importance’ and I write to ask all partners and fee earners to ensure that clients are ‘fully appraised’ […]

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Can you imagine a situation where there are so many lawyers qualifying  each year through the law schools that we have an endless supply of ‘enthusiastic and able’ young freelance lawyers clamouring not to get into the profession – there is is no room at the Inn or in the big City firms – but […]

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MEMORANDUM – EYES ONLY To:  The Partners From: Dr Erasmus Strangelove, Partner and Director of Education, Strategy and Psyops Gentlemen, In keeping with our tradition and work best practice ethic,  I am assuming that you will all have been too busy to read the legal press this week. My earlier memorandum on competitor activity this […]

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MEMORANDUM To: All Associates From: Dr Erasmus Strangelove, Partner and Director of Education, Strategy and Psyops RE: VULTURES IN TOGAS Obiter, writing in  in The Law Society Gazette, refers to a speech by the Master of The Rolls, Lord Neuberger, where he considers, inter alia, the topic of why lawyers are so unpopular. Lord Neuberger […]

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Britain’s Supreme Court (72 mins)  Channel 4: This gripping, feature-length documentary charts the first year in the life of Britain’s new Supreme Court – the highest court in the land – now available on Channel 4 OD I was up earlier than usual  this morning at 3.30 and, with Broadband working perfectly now, I watched […]

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TOP SECRET / PARTNERS ONLY BRIEFING PAPER From: Dr Erasmus Strangelove, Partner, Director of Education, Strategy and Psyops RE: OPERATION PHARAOH – POSITIONING LEGAL SERVICES IN THE NEW EGYPT 1.  In the wake of events unfolding in Egypt in the last week, from intelligence received from the many, varied and newly minted Egyptologists now broadcasting […]

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Muttley Dastardly LLP interview once each year for eight trainees.  One will make the cut. Retention rates published in the legal press are of no concern to the firm’s enigmatic Director of Education, Training, Strategy and Psyops – Dr Erasmus Strangelove LLB, JD, BCL, MBA,  Ph.D, Barrister Dr Strangelove took his seat in The Partner’s […]

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STATEMENT FROM MATT MUTTLEY Managing Partner, Muttley Dastardly LLP To:  All staff RE: AGE 1.  The government is planning to abolish the retirement age of 65.  As with many things the government does, this will not affect us.  Partners may retire when they wish.  If they haven’t retired by the time they get to 50, […]

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