Muttley Dastardly LLP: Tough lawyer….

MEMORANDUM
To: Partners
RE: TOUGH LAWYER
I’ve just had my attention drawn to the Toronto law firm of Irving Solnik through a post in the news section of RollonFriday today.
***
1. The approach to business of law taken by Solnik is on point. I draw your attention to a statement on his website:
WHEN LEGAL MATTERS ARE TOUGH [...]

Muttley Dastardly LLP: Carbon footprint…

PRIVATE & CONFIDENTIAL
To: Partners
From: Matt Muttley, Managing Partner
RE: CARBON FOOTPRINT
Dr Strangelove, our new Director of Research & Education, has forwarded an email from The Law Society - a rare survivor of our new spam and junk mail filter systems. I was, of course, aware that polar bears are now floating around on [...]

Muttley Dastardly LLP: “A wholly unfamiliar level of fees”…

From: Matt Muttley, Managing Partner
To: All fee earning staff
RE: FEES
My attention was drawn to a piece in the Financial Times today about the level of fees being charged at Allen & Overy:
“A High Court judge has blasted a top City of London law firm for charging nine years’ worth of [...]

Muttley Dastardly LLP: You’re hired!….

Transcript of telephone conversation between Eva Braun, PA to Matt Muttley, and Matt Muttley. Friday 28th March 0630 hours.
Braun: Hi Matt… how ya hanging?
Muttley: Good, Eva… in fact… very good. Excuse me darling, I have to take this call from my PA, Eva…….. Eva… sorry… my Mother decided to come over for [...]

Muttley Dastardly LLP: Curious LPC examination procedures

From the Office of The Training & Recruitment partner
Subject: Curious LPC examination procedures
We at Muttley Dastardly LLP have, as you know, come to a most profitable arrangement with a purveyor of LPC course services to train our future trainees in the values and mores of our firm. This has worked to [...]

Marketing for Dummies?….

Excellent nonsense…. some seriously weird marketing…

RollonFriday picks up on the fact that Eversheds are looking for some very unusual people. I quote from the RollonFriday website:
Innovateer: the innovative volunteer, who has “good reason to appear effervescent”.
Knowlivator: the knowledgeable motivator - “they don’t just have big brains; they have big personalities too”.
Logithiser: the logical empathiser, [...]

Muttley Dastardly LLP: Expansion

From: Matt Muttley
To: All Partners
cc: Dr Strangelove
Date: 24th May 2007
ANY OF YOU KNOW ANY FAMILY LAW ?
Eva Braun has just put the Evening Standard in front of me. A woman has won a £48 million divorce battle. Do we have anyone who knows any Family Law? If not, can we do a [...]

Muttley Dastardly LLP: Practice and Academe…

From The Desk of Matt Muttley, Managing Partner

Eva Braun, my PA, told me some time ago that senior City lawyers are being appointed as Deans of Law Schools. This is to be encouraged - particularly if it removes them from the corporate law gene pool.
I am, endorsing this ‘transferability between practice and [...]

Work until you bleed…

“I’m not interested in where you come from, whether your father is a QC or a senior partner at another law firm… if, however your parents are connected with a leading PLC or multi-national, we would like to know that. I’m not interested in where you did your LPC because that course is [...]

Muttley Dastardly LLP: Clarity in everything you do….

From the Desk of Matt Muttley, Managing Partner
It has been drawn to my attention that Nabarro Nathanson, formerly known as ‘Nabarros’, has done a re-branding; shortening their name to ‘Nabarro’ with a strapline ‘Clarity Matters’.
Their new logo was a bit difficult to decipher at first…. looked like tree rings to me, or one of those [...]

Muttley Dastardly LLP: Inappropriate behaviour

MEMO TO ALL STAFF
From: Matt Mattley, Managing Partner
Re: Inappropriate behaviour
1. On or about Wednesday 14th February I received a Valentine’s Day card from a person(s) unknown.
2. The envelope, addressed to me personally, had been franked, using the firm’s franking machine. There is no record in the new electronic fees system of this postage [...]

Muttley Dastardly LLP: Voguish law firm trainee blog…

0800 Hours : Matt Muttley’s office
Eva Braun walked into the managing partner’s office at 0800 hrs this morning with a single sheaf of A4 paper. Typed on the paper - the details of a new trainee blog launched by Winkworth Sherwood, Solicitors and Parliamentary Agents.
Matt Muttley was riding an exercise bicycle and talking to [...]

If I can’t find it…who can?

While Lord Stevens has been busy of late on rather more important matters: clearing the Royal Family and The Establishment of any involvement in the death of Princess Diana and, more recently, (subject to further investigation) trying to determine whether any bungs have been given in the beautiful game - one of my brothers, recently [...]

The ghost of Christmas past…

Let me introduce you to my Great Grandfather, Ebenezer Charon - a man who would reply when a beggar asked “Change?” - “No, I don’t need any, but thank you all the same.” (OK..OK… I read Private Eye… and I was ‘influenced’ by a very good cartoon in PEye - let’s be honest… I was [...]

Muttley Dastardly LLP : The Interview

James Fettes-Tonbridge writes: I have been at MD for twelve weeks and yesterday was my first meeting with the Managing Partner, Matt Muttley. It was a surreal experience and one which was quite damaging to my psyche.
I received an email from Matt Muttley’s PA, Eva Brown, requiring me to attend for a ‘review interview’ with [...]

Muttley Dastardly LLP: Trainee Blog…

I’ve been at Muttley Dastardly LLP for 10 weeks..
Jamie Fettes Tonbridge writes…
“I can’t believe it is 10 weeks since I joined MD as a trainee. I’ve learnt a lot about practice in just 70 days, more than I did in four years at Uni and on the LPC. It is exciting to know [...]

Muttley Dastardly LLP: Christmas Party/Legal Issues…

Memo to all Members of the firm from Matt Muttley
Following guidelines issued recently by the Advisory Consiliation and Arbitration Service (ACAS), as reported in The Evening Standard yesterday, it appears that this firm owes a ‘duty of care’ to our staff and could face legal action if employees don’t get home safely after the Christmas [...]

Muttley Dastardly LLP - “Religious symbols: Wearing of policy”

Memo to all Staff from Matt Muttley, Managing Partner
It came to my notice the other day, when I made a rare appearance in the open plan work area, that quite a few associates and administrative staff have taken to wearing burqas, skull caps, silver crosses, orange turbans, white druidic robes and various other symbols of [...]

Muttley Dastardly LLP - The perils of blogging…

From the Desk of Matt Muttley
It has come to my attention that there is free advice to be had about blogging…
I find the trend to give free advice about anything mildly worrying, particularly if lawyers are at it. However, that said, I am not one to deny myself a drink from the cup of [...]

Muttley Dastardly LLP - ‘Outsource’…

From the Desk of Matt Muttley, Managing Partner
I received a news clipping from one of our more enterprising trainees this morning covering the story that Clifford Chance are outsourcing some of their IT and administrative functions to India. This struck me as a good idea. The vultures from the law school who came [...]