HUNT THE DRINKING & SMOKING LOBSTER COMPETITION
In Part 4 – the last of my reviews – I am hiding a picture of a lobster that smokes and drinks in one of Parts 1-3 of UK Blawg Review #10 from earlier in the week.
The challenge, for which there will be a prize of Professor Gary Slapper’s book – More Weird Cases – is as follows:
1. Locate the lobster and email it to me. The lobster wasn’t there when I published Part 1-3 – but it is now!
2. Write in no more than 140 characters (as in tweets) – your opinion of the Justice system
3. The best 140 ‘opinion’ on the Justice system will win
4. Charon Rules – as per the Caption Competition in Part 1 – apply. (PS There is still time to enter the Caption Competition as well)
I’d like to thank Michael Scutt, who set up the UK Blawg Roundup concept, for giving me the opportunity to have a romp through a few UK Blawgs. I can’t cover every blog – but as my Weekly Law Overviews starts next week, bloggers can be sure that I will be highlighting a few UK law blog posts each week going forward.
So it seems appropriate, given that practising solicitor Michael Scutt also blogs, to start with this post from his Jobsworth blog: Vince Cable: In the Eye of the Storm
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A barrister’s job is to put the case for the defense as effectively and clearly as would his client if he had an advocate’s skills. The barrister’s belief or disbelief in the truth of the story is irrelevant: it’s for the jury to decide this often difficult question.
Sir John Mortimer QC
Since I still have ‘something of the random’ about me since I started writing UK Blawg Review #10 last Sunday – a post about coffee which keeps many lawyers at the grindstone, written by Jon Bloor of Peninsulawyer, caught my eye: Coffee week
And so to more serious matters…
I like a bit of dirt… and while I am not a Property Lawyer (Although I defeated the Land Law examiner who said I would fail because I attended not a single of his Land Law lectures or tutorials by getting a First in the subject. He was even more astonished than I was. I got lucky, revising five subjects with all five coming up for the four questions required – not a technique I recommended to any of the many students I taught over 30 years!)…
I do read Jon Dickins’ Digging The Dirt from time to time: Apparently – Al-Jazeera to Become First Tenant of The Shard?
And since we are in this together – I thought a trip over to Bearwatch ( a blog I enjoy visiting) would cheer me up. It didn’t! UK debt far worse than USA’s
Milly Bancroft, a regular on our Without Prejudice series of podcasts (and short listed for The Orwell Prize this year), has an amusing post from her Beneath The Wig blog which I just cannot resist: And I am not making this up…
Paul Bernal, an experienced academic, has a fascinating blog on human rights, privacy and the internet. This latest piece gives a flavour: Who goes where???
Nick Holmes who runs the Infolaw websites, blogs from time to time: I enjoyed this post: Scooping up work online with the “long tail”
I believe that most, if not all, lawyers need to be up to date on financial and economic matters. I am a regular reader of the excellent Capitalists@Work blog. This post provides a very good taster: U-turns are healthy
Fill My Days in Legal London can provide amusing diversions in the day. This post illustrates: Lately, I’ve been mainly reading erotic literature
And on that note… time to move on to my next semi-structured section….
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Barristerman! (2009), Oil on Canvas
Charon
Charon read too many Marvel comics when he was a kid…and he likes Roy Lichtenstein also….nuff said.
If you are planning a career at the Bar – a good starting point would be visit a visit to Simon Myerson QC’s blog Pupillage and How to Get it blog. Filled with top quality advice and guidance.
The Pupillage Blog is another ‘must read’ for intending barristers.
AND since we are talking about barristers… I am delighted to punt Tim Kevan’s Babybarista book.. Law and Peace currently just £1.19 on the Kindle for the Jubilee!
Family Law barrister Jacqui Gilliat continues to amuse with serious and odd snippets on her Bloody Relations blog: D.I.V.O.R.C.E: the mother of all separation songs
And we must not forget about the clerks… this from the energetic Jeremy Hopkins – who has recently moved from 3VB to be Director of Operations at Riverview Law. Clerkingwell is a pleasure to read. Try this for size: Psilkology
The Free Movement blog is written mainly by barristers in the immigration team at Renaissance Chambers. In a recent post they ask: Can the UK suspend free movement?
And.. an essential resource from Inner Temple’s Current Awareness Library team – a very good source of news, casenotes and other law materials
The Barrister Bard continues to analyse and provoke...The New Jerusalem
Come the New Jerusalem, when I am elected Divine Leader, I shall abolish all Public Inquiries as a complete waste of time and space. They are excruciatingly boring, and for the most part, they tell us nothing we didn’t already know…..
Barrister James Vine on thebungblog – a lightheartedly serious look at the Bribery Act 2010: “A QUESTION OF INTERPRETATION”
I don’t usually write about my own cases, because I have never been a big believer in blowing my own trumpet. In addition to that, this blog is supposed to be about the Bribery Act, although with the caveat in the “About” section (which nobody reads) that I may wander off at a tangent from time to time. Well this is that time…
In parts 1-3 you will find many examples of blogs written by barristers.
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A lawyer without history or literature is a mechanic, a mere working mason; if he possesses some knowledge of these, he may venture to call himself an architect.
Walter Scott
A knowledge of what is happening in Europe – apart from irritating shield munching tory beserkers on the backbenches is always useful to a lawyer: IPrivacy4IT – Clarinette’s blog: French Presidential elections a successful story of divorce
International Conflict of Laws is an important subject for many lawyers. Conflict of Laws. net is a remarkable resource edited by Martin George and others. The old cliche..”the devil is in the detail’ is a useful aphorism to remember. This website is detailed: Folkman on International Judicial Assistance
Written by Jon Harman director of The College of Law Multi-media unit, – Digital Adventures is a delight to dip into: The Dinner Guardians
I read Law Actually most weeks. Always incisive. A recent post delivers a taste of the analysis provided: Fighting back against the PI claims scandal
The personal injury niche generally comes in for a lot of bad press – deservedly so at times. As well as the infamous ambulance-chasing antics, sketchy client care and extortionate success fees, the dubious business of cross-referrals can badly impact the credibility of firms which work in this area.Perhaps most pernicious of all is the practice of insurance companies selling potential claims to the firm of solicitors with the highest bid. (Think of it as exploiting claimants via e-Bay)…..
Law & Sexuality written by Chris Ashford, Reader in Law and Society in the Department of Law at the University of Sunderland in the UK, provides a clear and critical analysis of the application of law in this field: A Conspiracy of Silence
LawBore Future Lawyer, edited by Emily Albion is a most interesting and eclectic resource worth dipping into.
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And so to a few blogs from the USA, Ireland and Canada – which I read and enjoy….in no particular order.
UK Blawg Roundup will be, I am sure,happy to tip a hat to Blawg Review, edited by the mysterious ‘Ed’. I have had the pleasure of writing six Blawg Reviews over the years and will do so again if invited so to do. It is an exceptional blog – hosted each week by a different lawyer (in the main from the US – but lawyers and academics from other countries are often invited to host.)
WhatAboutClients? – which transmogrifies at weekends into WhatAboutParis? is written by good friend, US lawyer Dan Hull – an anglophile who claims roots in East Anglia, from the Normans and, like me I suspect – from whatever stock du jour it is which pleases him. We are all, thankfully, mongrels at heart.
The client focused side of Dan’s blog is direct, blunt and to the point. The WhatAboutParis? side is thoughtful, suggestive, provocative, informative and, above all..an interesting read. please do have a look: a post from each side – 12 Rules of Client Service: You don’t get to have a “bad day” and Remembering: What do you remember about childhood? Does it matter?
And so to one of the most incisive and direct legal minds writing on law blogs anywhere in the world – Simple Justice. Scott Greenfield does not mess about – except when accepting Earldoms from me or playing himself as a US defense lawyer representing the hapless George in West London Man (infra) – but that is another story. He is direct..very direct… and he accepts criticism and takes it on. Simple Justice is an excellent read – even if you know nothing about US (New York) law or criminal defense work. Scott Greenfield is wide ranging in critical analysis. The post that follows will give you a very clear taster!
If You Say So
Some clients want to tell their lawyer everything under the sun, using tens of thousands of words to express thoughts that require maybe a dozen. Some answer questions posed to them succinctly and clearly. Some don’t say much. Some lie.
The liar isn’t malevolent. He’s manipulative. Maybe he survived on the street by his wits, and can’t quite give up the tools that kept him alive thus far. More likely, he believes, as many do, that if he convinces his lawyer that he’s an innocent man, his lawyer will love him more and represent him better. It’s not that he views his lawyer as the enemy (though that often becomes the case as the lawyer is the messenger for a miserable system, and comes to personify all the client comes to hate), as much as he can’t quite bring himself to trust someone.
And so the lawyer asked the client questions, and the client responds. The lawyer knows that the client isn’t being forthright with him, and pushes the client. Sometimes, he even tells the client that he’s lying, and that his lies won’t serve his cause.
Do you really want your lawyer to be the stupidest guy in the room?
They can’t help it. This isn’t an intellectual choice, but an emotional one. The believe they can beat the system, outwit it, by lying to their lawyer
Colin Samuels, a good friend, has won five Blawg Review annual prizes for the exceptional quality of his writing. I had the pleasure of doing an Unsilent Partners collaborative Blawg Review with him and we are now collaborating on the social atrocity satire of George aka West London Man. (Episode 26 is here: West London Man (26): THE ADVENTURE OF THE FINAL PROBLEM)
Colin Samuels writes on his own blog Infamy or Praise. (The service was down this afternoon – hopefully a temporary glitch)
Finally in the US selection: Gideon – A Public Defender
Another good friend and fellow blogger, Antonin Pribetic is an enthusiastic supporter of UK law blogs. His Trial Warrior blog is thoughtful, analytical and incisive – a very enjoyable read. His recent Blawg Review #319 will also give you an insight into his views and thoughts.
And finally… a must read for all interested in Human Rights Law: Cearta.ie (Irish for Rights) written by Dr Eoin O’Dell a Fellow and Senior Lecturer at the School of Law, Trinity College Dublin.
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Originally, I awarded myself 21 stars. But upon reflection and coming to the view that readers would find this preposterous ‘cheffery’ on an industrial scale – I have reduced the number of stars to a more credible 18. Here is a recipe for my ‘famous’ Boeuf Buggerorf
Not that I need a reason for introducing complete nonsense into my UK Blawg Review #10 – but, as it happens, there is a reason…. Nicky Richmond, a property lawyer, writes a very amusing blog about Law and food… well… mainly food – Saying It Straight. The reviews may assist you in deciding where to dine. The writing is wonderful. Most enjoyable. Dip in and read… you won’t regret it: The Arts Club. Do you have to be a member to join?
Time to say goodbye for UK Blawg Review #10. I leave you with two pieces of nonsense wot I knocked up some time back.
I have enjoyed reading and writing about the blogs in parts 1-54. I’m only sorry I can’t cover every UK Blawg. Reading and writing for all Blawg Reviews (US and now UK) I have done takes a fair bit of time. (I often get asked how long blog reviews take. These four parts took just under 24 non-billable hours! – for me – a pleasure.
A Bar & Dining Room
Somewhere in London
Meal for two with wine: £90
Nil points
Charon goes to a restaurant run by East European border guards?
“Have you booked?” asked the black silk shirted Maitre D’ guarding the entrance. The abruptness of the greeting took me by surprise.
“I have not booked. Do you have a table?” Blackshirt’s eyes narrowed as he flicked open the diary. The page had one entry. Blackshirt looked up, eyes darting. “How many of you are there?” It may seem to the casual observer that I suffer from dissociative identity disorder, but I was alone. I heard Sir Alec Guinness in the recess of my mind: “Charon” he said, “Use the Force….”
“I am one.”
The Maitre D’ surveyed the dining room. It was that sort of place… Not a restaurant, but a Bar and Dining Room. It was 12.30. Only two tables were occupied. “Do you smoke?” Blackshirt snapped.
“For England.” I replied.
I was escorted to a table in the corner of the room – a table for two. An East European border guard, dressed as a waitress, appeared with a menu. I selected a bottle of Claret and asked for two espressos and a glass of tap water, no ice. “You want espresso?” the waitress asked, unsmiling. “Now?”
“Yes please.” I watched her walk towards the bar. Well it was more of a march… more Red Square than Sandhurst. I was not invited to taste the wine when it arrived.
The menu was fairly typical of many gastros – a mix of “Confu**tion cooking” with a bit of thai/vietnamese nonsense thrown in. I enjoy reading Anthony Bourdain… but his books, do on occasion, get into the wrong hands… and so it was, today. Couscous and polenta featured heavily. One day I am sure that I will find a gastro pub with a dish called “Irish tagine”.
A couple were seated at a table nearby – both late twenties, both City professionals. I know this because they managed to tell me, indirectly, by relating events to each other of their successes during the week. They talked at each other; he admiring himself repeatedly in the mirrors lining the walls on our side of the restaurant. They obviously knew each other well – at least one assumes so, because, later, declining the offer of pudding, they started eating each other.
I have no idea why nutters on trains, tubes, buses and restaurants gravitate towards me – but it happend again today. The East European border guard escorted another customer to the adjacent table – a man in his early sixties, blazered, highly polished Oxford shoes, grey trousers, Turnbull & Asser shirt, silk tie and a traditional ‘British’ haircut. One could almost smell the George Trumper cologne.
“Good day to you.”
“And to you.” I replied.
“Writer?” the man asked, pointing at my laptop. I learned long ago not to answer that question.
“Just doing a bit of surfing.”
“Surfing Eh?…. yes… I used to surf when I was a junior partner with X&Y in Hong Kong…. on trips to Australia…. tied up a few M&A deals, I can tell you… out there…. those were the days…”
God in heaven. I know I drank a bottle of cider in Church once when I was at Prep school… but I had no idea, then, that I would continue to be punished for that sin nearly 40 odd years later on Easter Sunday 2007… in the form of a retired City lawyer, from the days of Tai Pan, sitting at the next table.
“Really…? good stuff.. ” I replied, affably, but with what I hoped was the correct tone to indicate that I wished ‘to be alone’. It was too late to pretend I was Bulgarian and could not speak English.
So there I was… a couple of young professionals, but a few tables away, talking at each other and Mr Drone, to my right.
“Been to Church?”
I was looking intently at my laptop screen. The words appeared to come from above. I looked at the ceiling. I looked at my bottle of Claret. I had only had one glass.
“The Vicar had a few of us back for a glass of sherry after the service”
“Really…?”
“Yes… quite a few actually. Have to splice the mainbrace after sitting through all that without being able to charge fees at the end of it! ” a statement which provoked so much laughter from the speaker that I was concerned I may have to do a Heimlich manoeuvre on him.
“Oh Yes… Vicar did us a good sermon today…”
Mr Drone told me at length that he would have been in New York to advise on a merger but the US firm had ‘cocked up’ on timing… adding that he liked to take on important cases on a consultancy basis from time to time…
“Ah….”
I drained my glass, re-filled and lit a cigarette.
“Smoker Eh?…yes… used to smoke until the Doc said to me ‘My dear chap, unless you pack in the gaspers now you won’t be able to get it up when you are 65′.” Another burst of self satisfied laughter, gave me the opportunity to wave at the waitress and explain to the gentleman seated at the next table that I needed to concentrate on my work. He made a curious signal, tapping his finger against his nose and said “Got it…Roger… mustn’t stop a chap from his work “
“You are ready with your orders?”
I smiled at the waitress, trying not to look as if I had something to declare, and ordered a main course. I justified my lack of a first course, when questioned, by explaining that I may have a pudding. She seemed satisfied with my explanation and marched off.
It takes a rare talent to cook roast lamb badly, but only inhalation of super strength cannabis would suggest beetroot risotto and chilli jam is a sensible, or even suitable, accompaniment to lamb. The waitress looked at my plate, barely touched. The lemon meringue pie had the merit of being bought in. The wine was more than drinkable and, after negotiating my release without the aid of the Foreign Office, I returned to familiar surroundings.
listen (3-4 mins)
Well.. there we are. Fin. Adios for now…
Part 1 of UK Blawg Review #10 is below and linked here
Part 2 of UK Blawg Review #10 is here
Part 3 of UK Blawg Review #10 is here
I am delighted to be hosting #10 of the UK Blawg Review roundup
a blog I visit often. A recent post 
What is the argument on the other side? Only this, that no case has been found in which it has been done before. That argument does not appeal to me in the least. If we never do anything which has not been done before, we shall never get anywhere. The law will stand still whilst the rest of the world goes on; and that will be bad for both.
Good to see British academic Carole McCartney doing Blawg Review – The US original carnival of law blogs which I have had the pleasure of writing for six times so far: 
Lawcast 203: Kristen Heimark – From serving on the USS Lexington to practising as a London lawyer
doing a law degree at SOAS and an LLM at The LSE before she qualified as barrister and cross-qualified as a solicitor. Kris now practices mainly in the field of Landlord & tenant as a solicitor-advocate.
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse. 
law justice system: Her recent piece 
Given that I still have ‘something of the random’ about me today… in this section I declare myself free to roam at will and select some recent blog posts I have enjoyed before returning with some vague idea of structure and taxonomy. So.. orf we go into another realm…
sardonic eye, on the doings of the legal profession. The most recent post from Anonymous Assistant: 
little in the way of alternative vision? I am not surprised. Stephen Mayson’s blog post is worth reading. I have found, discussing legal education with legal educators, the smell of vested interests – in both commercial and public sectors – is so powerful at times that I need a 
Partner’s Boardroom and seated him at the opposite end of the long boardroom table. He had a brown paper bag over his head.
If you’re going to be crazy, you have to get paid for it or else you’re going to be locked up. 
Jonathan Sykes at 
I have taken to doing ‘Word du Jour’ on twitter recently. The other day I came across *Ultracrepidarian* – Of one who speaks or offers opinions on matters beyond their knowledge. A fine word. I shall lose no time in shoehorning it into a speech should I find myself back on the debating floor soon.
“Lord Bingham considered tension between the judiciary and the government to be a healthy thing – who, after all, would wish to live in a country where all judicial decisions are welcomed by ministers? Nor is judicial activism a particularly new phenomenon. Three centuries ago, Bishop Hoadly observed: “Whoever hath an absolute authority to interpret any written or spoken laws, it is he who is truly the law-giver, not the person who first wrote or spoke them.” But however much we might admire judges like Tom Bingham, the rule of law must not mean rule by lawyers.”
And finally for Part 1…. I repeat a Muttley Dastardly LLP post I did recently because I am not convinced the SRA have got it right with their plan to scrap the minimum wage for trainees and I certainly don’t approve of the government ‘sack on a whim’ stunt.
It is ‘unfortunate’ that we need secret organisations like Special Branch, MI5 and MI6. But because of the needs of our country over the past 150 years or more, specifically, and the way our governments have directed the affairs of our country and waged wars recently, we do. That is the reality. That is Real Politik.
Guest Post – Red Light on Olympic Marketing Campaigns 
In association with 
I don’t usually do interviews or put myself forward in my real name or under my pseudonym. Tim Kevan, author of Babybarista, is a good friend. He asked me a number of questions in his new ‘Person of The Week series’. I answered them. A bit dark….
Charon QC 