Well… what a week. I got up shortly before 5.00 am this morning. There were no gulls or cormorants. It was too early for them to be about. The G20 did not appear to have taken place for The News of The World – but I did discover that Jade Goody was given a Princess Di style send off, that an ‘Apprentice’ hunk enjoyed sex up a tree, that Prince Harry partied with a Dancing on Ice star and that ‘Gordon Ramsay went down the vindaloo’. It was far too early for a stiff drink and, despite the best endeavours of the NOTW, I managed to survive long enough to escape to The Observer online without having to seek psychiatric help from NHS Direct…. who would have told me, in all probability, that I was a deeply disturbed individual for visiting the NOTW website.
I missed this the first time around – but Guido Fawkes picked up this amusing video from The News of
The World: “Who wants to be a Millionaire MP?”
The Depression Recession is Over?
The world leaders have flushed the toxic assets down the virtual lavatory, the banks are groaning under the weight of taxpayer cash, some of which doesn’t seem to actually exist in real terms, Gordon Brown secured his $1 trillion dollars but will still, quite possibly, be able to spend more time with himself after the next election, and the great bull run is about to begin…? Or so some say.
While the BBC autocuties, pundits and reporters ‘on the killing fields’ hyperventilated, some with bosoms heaving – such was their excitement – the protesters protested, an over nourished fool taking Fool’s day literally smashed a window at RBS for the benefit of waiting photographers and hacks with notebooks, I tweeted my way through G20 and then it turned nasty. I asked whether this is the type of Policing we wanted in our country and elicited a strong response from commentors (Hat Tip to The Magistrate’s Blog for highlighting my post)
Fortunately, The Independent has produced a very useful guide to what actually happened at G20 when the leaders of the world had been pictured, Berlusconi had stopped irritating the Queen by being noisy and Gordon had finally slithered into line to have his photie taken.
So.. as the sun appeared over the horizon, too early still to go and collect newspapers, I hunted for news of our political masters and their shady dealings. Guido Fawkes, in a very obscure way, pointed to a story in The Daily Mail about Mr Hoon. It would appear that he, too, has been doing 
absolutely nothing wrong, dipping his nose into the trough within the rules and claiming only what he is entitled to within the rules. The Daily Mail (not a paper I would read as a matter of course) has the story…
“Three homes Hoon: Iraq War Minister claimed expenses on one home, rented out second…. and lived in third rent free”
Be that as it may… back to the Depression being over…
““We have reached the land of a thousand bull dances – phoney maroney, why? Because the market swallowed its Prozac,” Cramer said on CNBC’s “Mad Money” April 2. “And right now, right here on this show – I am announcing the Depression over!”
So for those who are worrying about where their next Mercedes SLK or Tuscan holiday is coming from – a note of caution. The Pound – Euro rate is not good. yesterday someone reported on Twitter that they only got 98p for a Euro and Capitalists@work enlisted the support of the great detective, Sherlock Holmes, to make a point – a rather good point, as it happens.
On the other hand, now would be a good time to accessorise with your own investment banker. There are certainly quite a few about and for those with a taste for a bit of law in your sex or other life, why not try an out of work City lawyer, a trainee whose training contract has been deferred or even a BPP lecturer recently made redundant? (BPP Declined to comment on this when asked by The Lawyer).
The gulls finally arrived and circled the water as I watched them smoking a cigarette. I was the one smoking the cigarette, of course, but these gulls are pretty cuunning and in time, who knows, they may take up smoking themselves.
Returning to my desk I flicked through the Saturday Times Magazine and came across an excellent piece about Online Death. As I plan to live for ever or, in the alternative, be completely unaware of my own death (unburdened as I am by any nonsense from the religion mumbo jumboists of the world) – I may or may not need these services. It used to be that milk bottles piling up on the doorstep would tip off neighbours for those of us who do not have families to alert the fire brigade to break in and bring a body bag with them.
Apparently, these days, if one does not update one’s Facebook account, fail to go on Twitter for several days, or one’s blog remains sans updates, there are two online services to help. First, there is 
www.deathswitch.com. This will automatically send emails to all my contacts if I don’t check in during a specified period. Then there is www.slightlymorbid.com. This also sends emails when a member snuffs it but requires a ‘trusted friend’ using a password to start the process. I may of course join both …. just to be sure. I am particularly taken by Deathswitch.com’s call to arms... “Don’t die with secrets that need to be free.”
Obama has part of his wish list with Nato countries sending more troops to Afghanistan.
France, which rejoined Nato formally at the summit, is not offering to send troops but will send 150 military police to help train Afghan civilian police.
It is probably all to the good… there will come a time when Afghan police will have to issue parking tickets and speed violation notices… they will be able to do so with Gallic panache and elan.
So… what else happened in the week that was?
Geeklawyer gave some advice to a brother barrister and, indeed, almost papal in his writing issued a…
Memo to idiot barristers: When you’re in a hole stop digging …
The White Rabbit had a nasty accident, enjoyed a bit of morphine, gave up smoking while in hospital and is now, thankfully, on his way to recovery.
WhatAboutClients? reported the death of Holden Oliver on 1st April. I was pleased to have the opportunity of honing my obituary writing skills in the comments section. It would appear, however, that Holden Oliver is risen on the third day and is back in harness at the coal face writing for the weekend edition of WAC? – WhatAboutHardWork?
J Dan Hull – taskmaster and scourge of the slackers has four observations for the profession in the States (or relevance over here as well). here are two:
Four ‘down-economy’ questions:
1. After the economy stabilizes, “should associates pay their law firms in the first two to three years?”
2. Law schools need to step up–or get out of the way. Isn’t it time to shorten classroom legal education, and let law-firms-that-teach either be paid for–and at least not have to pay for themselves–what they give to young lawyers?
The prolific Scott Greenfield, US criminal defense lawyer and author of Simple Justice, has an important post on his blog about blogger freedom – and I encourage you to read it:
Memo to Bloggers: Beware and Stand Up
Well.. that just about wraps it up for this week. The sun shines…. it is time to go ite and abite and get some newspapers…
And… Tartan Week is coming up in the States. I talked to US lawyer and fellow podcaster J. Craig Williams who is hosting the edition of Blawg Review this week (Monday 6th April) on this very theme.
Best as always
Charon
Charon QC 