It has been a long and partly fruitful day. That work commitments running way over time made it impossible, through no direct action on my part, to get to LawBlog 08 until after 9.30 pm was unfortunate and frustrating as I would have enjoyed meeting fellow bloggers – but the day job does have to take a necessary priority in these investment bank collapsing days.
The cupboard was also bare, apart from some soup and a bottle of Montepulciano. Soup?… Montepulciano? It was not a difficult question. Just could not be bothered to schlep up to the supermarket to buy smoked mackerels and some salad, A large breakfast tomorrow will ensure that I do not fade away. The soup could wait.
The collapse of Lehman Brothers – although, arguably, worthy of inclusion in this monograph on idiocy, did not appeal as a subject to write about. In any event, others are far better qualified to do so. I am, however, having eaten quite a few things that roam this earth in my time, qualified to examine the issue of Gordon Ramsay plucking the hearts out of Puffins and eating them. Given that I am living in Britain, albeit a mildly bohemian area of London, it is unlikely that I will find Penne e puffin amatriciana on the menu or, indeed, roast puffin and two veg. Apparently, Gordon Ramsay caught a puffin, killed it, plucked the fresh heart out of the dead bird and ate it.This is absolutely fine by me.
However…Gordon Ramsay bores me to the point where I want to phone NHS Direct and ask for drugs to put me under. Sure… he is a great cook, but now he is everywhere… on The ‘F’ Word, advertising Gordon’s Gin, Hell’s Kitchen…. it would not surprise me if he started driving buses or trains as a vehicle to lecture us on the benefits of public transport. While Jamie Oliver is even more tedious, he is pretty harmless in that Dick Van Dyke cockney pearly king geezer persona he adopts… Gordon Ramsay is like an end of The Pier pantomime villain, but one who comes across as endlessly amused with himself and… quite possibly does. Delighted though that he has been cleared of offending that puzzling group of people who write in to television stations to complain. On Black Monday…. the headline ran “Ramsay cleared of eating Puffins offensively”… well not quite – the BBC has the story if you really want to bore yourself rigid.
Next up…. 999 idiocy
I then find myself reading a story about the morons who abuse the 999 emergency service lines. I am quite sure these people as a sub species of people who write into television stations. The BBC reports: “A woman dialled 999 because a rabbit she bought via a newspaper advert did not have floppy ears, Central Scotland Police have said.”
Another story involved a woman calling 999 to tell police officers that a car had splashed her driving through a puddle. I know daytime television is pretty awful but I thought it was designed to keep these people fully occupied – a modern equivalent of basket weaving. It seems not.
I then decided to Google the word ‘idiocy’… and came up with a phrase I rather liked … “Never Underestimate the Power of Stupid People in Large Groups” This provoked a thought in my mind about another word… the word ‘democracy’ – the idea of one person one vote, even if the person voting has absolutely no idea what they are voting for or, indeed, if the person they are voting for has any idea of how to run a country. I decided that this was too big a topic to tackle on this… “Black Monday”.
The thought then came to me, as I searched for other examples of idiocy, that there may be some low hanging fruit in the political arena… particularly as the Lib-Dems are in the throes of gnashing teeth and wringing hands at their annuaql get together to celebrate complete pointlessness in politics…. at least in terms of gaining power. (Hey…. there may a hung parliament….anything is possible… so one must prepare… and… … some say that Nick Clegg is ‘The Stig’.) I couldn’t find any interesting items today…..
So… on that note, I shall close this small monograph.
If I was PM or perhaps dictator I would put such 999 callers into a really good blender and then fire them around the large Hadron Collider and hope that the collision reveals the mysterious ‘idiot’ particle that these people seemed to be made up of.
seem*
curse the lack of edit functions. Oh the irony. Perhaps I should fire myself.
Rehoused
The absence of an edit function adds to the pleasure….
Idiocy transcends class, politics, religion and gender….. I recall a Canadian partner in a law firm, explaining to new trainees that the glass in the law firm’s high rise building was strengthened – and to demonstrate that it was safe… he ran across his office, hit the glass and, on that occasion, unfortunately, fell to his death 27 floors below.
Today, of course, law firm managing partners may well appreciate such such enterrpise to reduce head count.
Well last week in front of two new female clients it was
Me – ‘So how long have you been living with your mother’
Client – ‘Actually she’s my partner’
doh…
Rehoused..
Now… that made me laugh… sorry… but it is funny.. I understand you may not have thought so at the time.
Thank you for posting that!
A pleasure,
If I should ever see you in Brighton I shall have to tell you about the other ‘incident’ which still makes me want to put my head in the oven.
Charon – you were sorely missed at Lawblog huddle 2008, actually you and John Bolch. I was the only smoker, for starters.
Couldn’t drag my flabby frame to the bloggy booze-up either. Oh woe.
One day I’ll get round to phoning you and fixing a liquid lunch.
I could have sworn that White Rabbit, Andrew Keogh, does have big floppy ears…
I admit it. Large, floppy and furry.
Nearly Legal – Yes… a bit frustrating the over run… but also, being honest had a big afternoon of drinking with GL – followed by a long saturday night until the very early hours and was a bit knocked out when I goit back finally last night…
We shall, perhaps, meet for a glass if / when time permits!