Dear Reader,
I write to you from Battersea which fell to the Tories in the early hours of Friday morning. I won’t rehearse or analyse the election, or proselytise about politics for much longer – a return to writing about law is long overdue – but two things did occur to me as I had breakfast in Battersea Square this morning: The BNP might have lost every parliamentary and Council seat they contested but they did manage to rack up 500,000 votes according to the Times (Page 19 ‘Griffin under fire from own side as party rejected’). This means that there are 500,000 pantomime fascists living in this multi-cultural and politically correct isle of hours. That’s quite a thought.
I don’t actually know any panto-BNP voting fascists, but I did come across two while waiting for the 170 bus to take me to Victoria railway station the other morning. They were talking about immigrants – inevitably – and bemoaning the lack of strong government. One of them even cited Churchill’s fight them on the beaches speech fairly accurately. There was much nodding between the two of them. They reminded me of Alf Garnett. The only difference was that they were both women.
The other thing which struck me this morning, now fully recovered after nearly 48 hours with but an hour of sleep, was that it is clear the electorate having had a look at Clegg and the Lib-Dems, decided to have a second look at their slightly ‘iffy’ position on immigration and Trident and decided to stick with the devil they knew. It is ironic that a party which only managed to get 57 seats (actually losing five from the 2005 position) and only 23% of the vote should now have so much power. Right… having lit the blue touch paper, I shall retire to a safe distance and move on to other things other than to say that the politicians probably only have until 7.00 am on Monday morning to get ‘their shit together’ before the markets dispassionately dissect their efforts over the weekend – at least, this is the received wisdom.
I thought The Sun headline (above) about a 59 year old man holed up in house was one of their best in the entire election campaign period. This is why I have ‘nicked it’ unashamedly for those of you who don’t read this national treasure.
I will end this selection with a quote from Guido Fawkes’ blog post: Let Sunlight into the Backrooms
A system where deals are stitched up in backrooms by politicians without reference to voters is not much of a democracy.
General Election 2010: Gordon Brown launched telephone ‘rant’ at Nick Clegg
Telegraph: Gordon Brown launched a “diatribe” and a “rant” at Nick Clegg during a telephone call with the Liberal Democrat leader after it was suggested he should resign, it was reported today.
Thoroughly enjoyed the election coverage, although I think I may have overdone the lack of sleep with just an hour and a half in 38 hours. The bottle count was satisfactory rather than exceptional – but there wasn’t a great deal to celebrate apart from Jacqui Smith losing her seat. I was not a fan of that particular Home Secretary, despite my Labour tendencies. Perhaps she could get a job driving SERCO prison vans?
Moving on. I am a fan of the surreal. This may be evident from some of my blog posts and one of my friends on twitter – @infobunny – is a mistress of the art. After a brief foray into painting, Infobunny has started taking photographs, using some wonderful old cameras and ‘film’. She has a good eye and some of the serious pictures are of a very high standard. The picture to the right made me laugh out loud, so much so that I could have been on another trip to PC World after nearly spitting wine all over the keyboard of my new iMac. Infobunny drinks GINS and CIDERS – this is excellent… in my book.
I am seated at my desk by the window at The Staterooms. I am, literally, on the river front and I can see many things. An Eights boat has just gone by with a man in a motorboat alongside shouting at the oarsmen through a megaphone. Is he shouting “Faster…Faster… or there will five more years of Gordon Brown” ? No, sadly – but in my mind, he is.
I can see a Cormorant flapping its wings to dry them and four ducks are looking up at me in a rather menacing fashion. The cormorant, I suspect – this being Battersea, is a Tory cormorant. I would imagine it is thinking about finding a Lib-Dem cormorant to talk to. The ducks are most definitely Labour ducks… Brownites, which is why they are looking up at me in a menacing fashion. If they were Blairite ducks, we’d be having lunch together on the river front discussing the re-structuring of the Labour Party post Brown.
I have made a decision that wherever I live in future it will have to be by water. I used to live on a boat across the river at Cheyne Walk and then went down to the Medway. Water is good…. sea or a sea loch may be even better. I am looking at the practicalities of spending six months in the land of my ancestors – Scotland. Loch Fyne? Arran? I am investigating. It no longer matters where I live. I can do what I do from anywhere with broadband, which is quite liberating.
A friend of mine @Bureauista sent me this via twitter and told me that she had been leafing through old magazines and thought of me when she saw it. I thought I would share it with you.
I am, as regular readers know, a 30 a day Dan in Smokedo (The Art of Exercising while smoking). I can quite see how the game of golf could be markedly improved by smoking a cigar while playing it.
Well… on that note…. as nothing will happen in terms of removal vans arriving in Downing Street until tomorrow at the earliest (they say) – I am going to have a quick kip.
Best, as ever
Charon
In ‘my’ constituency and in the last few days of the campaign, I became increasingly reminded of Belloc’s:
“And always keep a-hold of Nurse
For fear of finding something worse”
Great stuff Charon. Many thanks for bringing us some “light relief” over the last few weeks.
Let’s bear in mind that a system of PR might offer those “pantomime fascists” a few MPs. That’s a hideous thought.
I also dislike the idea that deals are being stitched up in London meeting rooms. The public impression is that Labour are staying out of this until the outcome of the Conservative/Lib Dem discussions are known. The reality? Well I would not mind a bet that Labour are already offering temptation to the Lib Dems. Of course, if it is true, a Gordon Brown ranting at Clegg might not have made Labour any friends.
I think that Jacqui Smith had few friends outside of the Labour Party. As The Magistrates’ Blog has pointed out, few Home Secretaries have emerged from the Office with much credit left. However, her conduct over expenses was absolutely unacceptable.
If the ducks were Tory ducks, would they not have “duck houses”?
Finally from me, the cigarette holder probably doubled as an extra tee. “Empire Cigars” – how very “Tory”.
Obiter J.. they may be Tory cigars… but I am not for Torying…as the Iron lady didn’t say!
I shall be watching our political masters most carefully – especially when it comes to repealing laws, civil liberties and the legal aid budget – as, I am sure, will you!
Certainly will. There was little to nothing actually discussed about civil liberties in the recent campaign and all these politicians bear close scrutiny.
Do they have broadband in Scotland?
😉