Gordon Brown: Hello?… is that Charon?
Charon: Indeed… I am Charon… who is calling?
Gordon Brown: It is Gordon Brown, the prime minister…of Britain
Charon looks at his bottle of Rioja. It is three quarters full.
Gordon Brown then starts singing:
I just called to say I love you
I just called to say that I feel your pain
I just called to say I love you
And I mean it from the bottom of my heart
Charon: Well… bravo Prime Minister. Have you been watching Britain’s got Talent? Well thank you very much for singing to me. Do you know “Show me the way to Tempranillo?”… you know… the song that Peter Kaye did and our boys in Iraq did a parody of a couple of years ago.
Gordon Brown: No… I don’t know that one
Charon: Well hang on for a moment prime minister… I’ll sing it for you…
Sha la la lala lalala
Sha la la lala lalala
Sha la la lala lalala
When the day is dawning on a 10 Downing Street morning
how I long to be there
with Hazel Blears who’s waiting for me there
every lonely city where I hang my hat
ain’t as half as pretty as where my Cabinet’s at
Is this the way to Tempranillo
every night I’ve been hugging my pillow
dreaming dreams of Tempranillo and sweet Hazel who waits for me
show me the way to Tempranillo
I’ve been weeping like a willow
crying over Tempranillo
and sweet Hazel who waits for me
***
The Sun has an excellent report on Gordon Brown’s other phonecalls to members of the British public.
Gordie better not call me, otherwise he may find his ear getting chewed off. That, and the fact my number is unlisted!
Ms Hansen….
I waited in all day …… but Gordon didn’t call back…..
I always liked the Ken Dodd ‘Alexander Graham Bell makes the first phone call ever’ sketch…
-Our man in frock coat-
‘I can see you. You haven’t got any knickers on’.
Sorry – I blame the alcohol…