Scene: Buckingham Palace. The Duke of Edinburgh is talking to King Abdullah, Saudi Arabia
“Sorry… Abdullah…. Mugabe won’t be joining us for lunch… can’t get him into the country these days. Silly bastard runs a dreadful ship…. appalling record on human rights, runs his country like a tin-pot dictator… locks up opposition leaders… and Brown is kicking up a fuss about attending some conference because he is going..”
“I am meeting Mr Brown soon, I think?”
“Yes… no problem there… no awkward questions.”
“Good… good… So… we go shooting rare birds later?”
“No… a bit of a cock up on the bird shooting front, I’m afraid… some silly bastards shot two rare protected birds the other day on our Sandringham estate… can’t get near the place for bird twitchers and busydodies… sorry…”
” Mr Milliband… he has been deported?”
“No… not quite old chap… had to go and adopt another child at short notice.”
“Good… good… So… what entertainment is there for lunch…?”
“Well… I could tell you who the Royal being blackmailed is.”
“Good… good.. you have my present… yes?”
***
Notes:
This conversation did not, of course, take place. It is imaginary.
Hat Tip to Reactionary Snob for the inspiration.
Mr Brown refuses to attend Africa conference if Mugabe goes
David Milliband and his disappearing act: Matthew Norman, The Independent.
“If so, Mr Miliband sets himself a challenging precedent. Every time one of the world’s unlovelier tyrants pops along, he will have to arrange another adoption.”
When I last visited Chiswick Police Station, to report a motorcycle theft, I noticed a picture of Dixon of Dock Green on the reception wall. It may still be there. I do not know. I do not hang out in police stations – but it amused me that an icon of policing from a bygone era was on the police station wall.
Charon QC 