I unashamedly modify my friend The Fat Bigot Opines’ “There’s a goat, let’s scape it”.. for the title of my latest post. It seems that I may be losing the plot.
Many years ago, until I was about 35, I was fairly fit. A couple of years ago I had an unpleasant illness which I survived and, fed up with the advice of doctors and pills, I decided three weeks ago to dispense with both and that loads of fruit, vegetables and a lot of strength training was needed. So… I developed a taste for doing press ups while taking a cigarette outside on the top floor of a building. This graduated to push ups, squats, calf lifts, abs and with a 5Kg dumbell purchased a week ago, the repertoire increased to all the things one can do with a dumbell. My muscles grew, the fat started to burn off and now… I have two 20kg dumbells…delivered this very morning by Mr Amazon who was not happy about lugging 100lbs worth of weights up several flights of stairs. He muttered about lifts when he arrived at my door. I smiled and said that the lack of a lift (or elevator for my american friends) was a bore, thanked him and waved goodbye. He looked a bit pale.
I am a 30aday Dan… so each time I smoke, alternating days for upper body and lower body, I do sets of eight to ten exercises with reps varying from 20-50 depending on the exercise.
I noticed that my stomach was getting bigger. The thought dawned on me that I should burn off the fat on the waist before doing abdominal crunches! So that is what I shall do.
Unfortunately, gentlemen drinkers will know that men put weight on around their gut and it is the last fat to get burned off. Gentlemen drinkers will only know this, of course, if they have a taste for exercise. Not all do. I do not exclude women, of course, but I am advised by a very fit woman friend of mine that with women the thighs and the bum is the most difficult to keep under control. This conjured up images in my mind which I shall not dwell on in this serious law blog.
I have also noticed that I appear to have started walking like an australopithicene. I am told that when the muscles get used to the assault I am putting them through I shall start to walk normally again provided I don’t overdo the thigh exercises. I won’t.
I have a rowing machine arriving – a cheap one – to get a bit of cardio done and I’m toying with the idea of getting a bike so that I can exercise and smoke as I go to interesting places on the bike… or even to collect my supplies of cigarettes. As I am now a wine reviewer, and I am receiving a fair number of bottles to review, I am in excelent spirits… so… I am going for the burn… possibly, literally…
I do my Smokedo with the occasional cigar having given up my Gitanes many years ago. God how I miss that smell and the way it used to irritate everyone else in the office….
I know what you mean here, CharonQC. Last year I was a visiting prof at the University of Miami Law School and I lived in Miami Beach. For some daft reason I got it in to my head that it would be a “good thing” to run on the beach in the morning. It’s sunny all the time and warm. So I did, 5 days a week, with a few crunches etc thrown in. It was so hot that I ate mostly salads and sushi. There was a nifty wine bar around the corner from where I lived that issued you with an “Oyster” type card and had hundreds of bottles around the walls from which you could extract 1oz, 3oz or 6 oz with your card. A great way to taste!
It’s been bloody hard back in the UK this winter trying to do the same. Dodging the dog poo in the park doesn’t have quite the same allure for me. But you’re a bloody inspiration!
Was very amused by your blogs re Middle/Inner library merger and Chinese urging their peeps to smoke more.
In the interests of international detente thought wouldn’t it be fun if Benchers resolved that members can only use the new facilities if they are smoking ….. couple it with exercise while reading the books and there may be a place for Smokado in the Inns of Court yet……
Fantastic stuff. I too enjoy the odd cigar and the full range of liquid refreshment in the course of my training regime for rowing triathlons, in one of which both Oikonomics and I participated earlier this very week. As did a Mr Morley who is rumoured to be a mere 75 years of age.
Please join us in the next at Reading on 16 August (see http://www.dbmax.co.uk).
Of course, in the meantime I will be attending an intensive training camp beside the Thames at Henley in the early part of July, at which places are available: http://www.hrr.co.uk/thisyear/spec.php.
Best
SDJ
[…] Legal Antics notes… because muscles make the lawyer “I am looking for a young, dark haired, muscular, confident ballsy lawyer who is willing to fight for me in court against an asshole husband. All the lawyers around here are either old or timid.” This could be a case for SMOKEDO MAN. […]
[…] August 13, 2009 by charonqc Regular readers will recall that I started Smokedo (The Art of exercising while smoking) some time back… and it has proved to be most beneficial […]
[…] went out onto my balcony for a smoke and to do 100 press-ups. I am still following my Smokedo regime. It was a bit quiet on the balcony. I could see the copy of The Law Society Gazette […]
[…] to be told what is good for us. If I wish to go out onto my balcony and perform the noble art of Smokedo by smoking as I do press-ups, use my weights, do squats – that is my choice. If I want to […]
Some good points. I use a few different pieces of exercise equipment, nothing fancy just a small weights bench, a cycle and a rowing machine (and a yoga mat!) but I could definitely get by with just the rower and the mat if I needed too, it’s by far the best and least damaging form of home exercise IMO.